“Here, this’ll help”.

She handed me a mug, filled to the brim with what I assume was coffee. Her breath stank of tobacco and alcohol (or was that just her?), and she seemed like she had her shit together A LOT better than mine. The maniacal state of her hair though, suggested that she wasn’t so much better off than me than she was just first to wake up. She had my t-shirt on, and my favourite necklace around her neck.

Also, I had no idea who the hell she was.

I had done it again. I had gotten blackout drunk, and woken up with some random girl who probably had a class of STDs that’d warrant a team of exorcists. Now she’s wearing my clothes and putting her grubby hands all over my stuff. I ignored her offer of coffee and just looked at the ceiling, pissed at myself.

A few days ago, I watched a TED talk that...changed me. I was certain that I wasn’t gonna backslide into some shit like this. I would get my life together, get a job, stop spending every other night in a walking coma. The basics of being a proper human being.

Now, here I am.

And it wasn’t the first time either. Every time I saw something that’d make me question myself, I’d go on a living cleanse. Then, I’d crash land into some bullshit not too long afterwards. And for the life of me, I couldn’t figure out why.

I decided I’d think on it, but not now. Later. First, I need to summon up enough strength to get to my armchair.

And also, burn the armchair. In case Jane “Herpinator” Doe had sat on it.

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This doesn’t happen to just me, does it?

You feel like an area of your life isn’t going so well. Hell, you KNOW it’s not going well. Then you get a sudden burst of motivation to fix it. Maybe a friend who’s gotten his own shit together, or a TED talk, or one of those annoying inspirational photos with irrationally attractive people.

That are also apparently too good for Pixabay

So you work off of the fire that just hit you, probably even make substantial headway towards solving the problem. Let’s use cleaning up your room for instance. You manage baby steps; you pick your socks off the floor, mentally plan where everything’s gonna go, broker a peace treaty between the rats in your closet and the roaches in your drawers.

Behold, the face of reason

Then you hit a roadblock. The high leaves your system, and you start to not care a little. 1 sock isn’t a problem, right? I could always put my action figures in my shoes no problem! High time those pesky mice solved their own problems.

Sometimes, you might even realize the problem is growing, and you try to right your course, fix things. But no matter what happens, you just can’t restart the flame. Then it all goes to hell again; socks flying all over the place, your shoes lined up on your fridge, the rat-roach rebellion ascends to power, demanding for your head on a platter.

Then you get psyched up again, take baby steps again.

Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

Well, not anymore.

You see, I think I’ve found a solution. It’s nothing fancy, at least I don’t think it is. It all dates back to my childhood, and the only way I’ve managed to keep my room clean.

_____________________________________________________________________________

As a kid, my room was a mess. Imagine if a thunderstorm, earthquake, and a spontaneous riot hit the room you’re in right now (so basically the ending scenes of Mother!), and you’d have half the level of insanity in my room. I honestly believe there was a roach mafia in my 4th drawer of an unnecessarily big cupboard (but more on that later).

I'd have put a picture of Roachy Tony, but I'm pretty sure I'll get whacked, so...

Then I got a girlfriend.

It was a hellish 3 days I spent cleaning out my room.

I confronted parts of myself I would rather have left locked away. I saw things that would make a blind man see again, cry, then go blind again and commit suicide, because he can’t live in a world that could produce such Cronenbergian horrors. But I succeeded, and I made that bastard spotless.

All because a girl was coming over.

Thus began the only reason I clean my room till this day. I remember what pushed me in that warm, peaceful October. I remember how it spurred me into a frenzy formerly only seen in that weird squirrel from the Ice Age movies. And no matter how tired I am, I rise up and clean out my room.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the key.

FOUNDATION.

WHAT? NOT THAT KIND!

There we go

The reason for my room being clean may seem juvenile, but it works. Sure, I might clean out the room from time to time just cos I don’t like how it looks, or just for shits and giggles. But when I need that extra oomph? That gentle push? I ride back to that memory, and I get the job done.

So now on to you.

You’ve been a slacker for a long time, and now you’re ready to get to work again. You strike out on 3 interviews and don’t want to go for the fourth. Don’t just tell yourself you should go for the 4th, ask yourself why you even started? What drove you to be driven?

What drove you to be driven to sign up to that gym in the first place? Why can’t it drive you to get out of bed and keep going?

What drove you to be driven to hunker down and study for that test? Why can't it drive you to push through those last few chapters?

You see, it’s not enough to just be inspired. You need to ask what inspired me? And when you answer that, then onto the last question;

WHAT INSPIRED ME TO BE INSPIRED?

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Whew!

I think this may well be the longest Armchair Musings ever. It only took a combined 2 hours or so, so it's somehow the longest article in the shortest time.

Go figure.

As always, Photo Credit to the good folks over at Pixabay, and a special thanks to @edumurphy. His comment on my last post got the wheels turning to produce this one.

Last but not least, special thanks to the Commenters, Resteemers, Upvoters, And Readers.

Until next time!

barrister-batman