How profound it is to be a parent!
I've found that the joys of life are amplified
(and the heartbreaks too),
as we experience life through witnessing our children.
The heartbreaks are just as painful as the joys are high,
but I'll leave the heartbreaks for another post.
I want to talk about some highs!!
I used to say I was proud of my kids,
but that doesn't really express my feelings,
even though I am moved by their successes.
It really isn't about my pride--as if their accomplishments were mine--
but more of the feelings of elation in witnessing them
aligning themselves with the life of their dreams.
The Ladies Quartet - Kim, my daughter Quincie, Caroline and Ashley
My daughter Quincie has been singing women's barbershop with the Sweet Adelines
since she was 10 years old. In case you don't know about Sweet Adelines,
here is a description from the Sweet Adelines' website:
Founded in 1945, what began as a small group of women who loved to sing, developed into a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization that would eventually bridge continents and unite women from around the world in their mutual love of music.The sweet blend of a cappella barbershop harmony is the heartbeat of this nearly 23,000-member worldwide organization. With more than 70 years of barbershop history, Sweet Adelines International provides a legacy of joy and passion for singing to those women who experience the sisterhood and lifelong friendships on the choral risers each week. As one of the largest associations of women singers to date, Sweet Adelines continues to positively impact women's lives and helps them find their voices, build confidence, enhance their vocal abilities, improve leadership and management qualities, and create a lifelong support system of sisterhood and friendship.
Though barbershop with it's old time songs and the women's glitzy showmanship has often been touted as "not cool" to the younger generations, there is a young and progressive crowd of both men and women who have a passionate dedication to the a cappella four-part harmony, and are showing up full on on the scene to join the older generations who have held steady in their love for the craft. Barbershop has been an art form showcased in the movie The Music Man, is known well through the involvement of Dick VanDyke, and just may be making a comeback. Many of the traditional songs of old are regaining appreciation, as barbershop arrangers bring new life to this musical genre.
When Quincie started singing a cappella with the Sweet Adelines there were very few children, the next youngest in her chorus was 21. She had expected to be embraced into this singing world as her 12 year old brother had been with the men's Good Times Barbershop Chorus, however, things were a little different in the women's world.
Though there was nothing in the local Lone Star Chorus chapter bylaws that forbid a child from singing with the adult singers, many of the women weren't thrilled about Quincie's participation. It wasn't at all about Quincie, but about her being a child that gave them resistance, as for many of them this was the time to leave the responsibility of their children at home and have some time alone with their women friends. Many of the women were vocal about not wanting her to join, even though the Director and Treasurer were very openly supportive of her. I told Quincie of their chatty worries about bringing in a child whose mother had no intentions of singing with them so she would know what she was in for without secrets or things happening behind her back. Quincie remarked that she wasn't going to be biased or prejudice about their ages, or hold their comments against them. She knew it wasn't personal and wanted to sing! They voted her in with some trepidation, and even some sadness, feeling they could lose some of their freedom of open expression in the adult world they had built for themselves. Quincie stepped into their world, as I assured the women they would not be disappointed -- Quincie was already a dedicated state and U.S. champion swimmer and knew what dedication was all about.
Quincie showed up to every practice early to help set up the risers and stayed late to help take them down. She dedicated herself to learning her part with perfection, to making an appearance at their performances, competitions and fund raising events. She tried out for the front row (which is a dancing privileged placement) every year, until finally her body was womanly enough to balance the visual appearance, and earned her way to the front of the stage.
While Quincie was still 10 she opted to swim in an international competition in Germany while Lone Star Chorus was competing in their regional event for the gold in an attempt to make their ranking for the international stage. Quincie immediately contacted the chorus from Germany to tell them she had won the gold in breaststroke out of 29 counties, and that it was their sign to win gold in her absence. They dedicated their performance to her and succeeded in wearing their gold medals proudly.
Over time, the women of the chorus grew to really love and appreciate Quincie. She endeared a whole chorus full of mamas that took her under their wing, nurtured her voice, held space for her well being, and shared with her their woman's world--some of the good, some of the bad, and some of the ugly. Many women pulled me aside to tell me that they had been one of those women who didn't want her to sing with them, but that she had shown them what true dedication and a winning attitude was truly about, and that they were very proud that she was part of their world. Some women even shared that they wished they had given their own children the opportunities Quincie embraced, as they could see how it had shaped her character. Her mamas in Lone Star Chorus continue to be some of her greatest supporters, watching her grow for nearly two decades from a little 10 year old girl to the capable and competent woman she is today.
Quincie moved on to sing and fall in love with the international winning Rich Tones Chorus, seizing the opportunity to enhance her skills and share her enthusiasm for barbershop with this chapter of women. Though she is not presently singing in a chorus, she continues to love and support the organization, as it has provided the basis for one of her passions, the enhancement of her vocal skills, global connections, and overcoming of personal obstacles.
Quincie started quarteting almost immediately once she became a member of Sweet Adelines. Though she was incredibly timid about singing to a crowd, she challenged herself to put her voice out there and stand up to face her fears. She sang tenor in 8-10 quartets over the years, including Gone Blank, Sound Design, Reve, Mixed Feelings, Zenith and her present quartet The Ladies. Succeeding with her childhood goal, she and the The Ladies took gold in New Zealand at the 2016 Rising Stars Young Women In Harmony Quartet Competition (the division for women barbershop singers 25 and under).
The Ladies - Kim, Ashley, Caroline, and Quincie (in front)
Through Quincie's barbershop singing, she has not only won the young women's quartet division, sang in both female and mixed quartets, traveled the world, became connected with directors, judges, arrangers, choreographers, and world champions, she has also inspired others through her dedication, teaching workshops, being a section leader, coaching and performing. She travels with The Ladies, invited to make guest appearances on shows throughout the U.S.
Kim, Caroline, Betty Clipman, Quincie and Ashley
This past week I met Quincie in St. Louis for the Sweet Adelines 72nd International Competition, where she competed at the convention center in the Quartet Competition. She sang tenor with The Ladies, making their international debut in the women's division. Though all four quartet members live in different states, they brought their sound together to win the novice quartet division, made finals in the top 10, and took 9th overall in the line-up of 43 quartets. This was a huge accomplishment for all four of these young women who are only in their mid-twenties, as they competed with many established quartets, Queens (previous International winners), and singers from around the globe.
Since Quincie began singing in barbershop quartets, her dream has been to become a Queen, taking her vocal talent to the highest level in her craft. Through her focus and making her passion her priority, she is reaping the great rewards of the life of her dreams, and taking the fast track to Queendom! Many people live their entire life and never get that satisfaction of even knowing what their passions are. I'm so glad that Quincie not only knows it, but lives it!
As a parent, it feels so good to see Quincie overcome obstacles, to make her own way through the maze of life, even getting compensated to perform her passion. To witness her bonds of friendship of people of all ages from all over the world, to see her travel worldwide, and to experience the validation of her efforts is such a blessing. The Ladies all have supportive parents, making it a priority to see their girls succeed doing what they really love, which is a very integral part of their success.
The Ladies also have boyfriends/husbands/fiances who are musicians and/or barbershoppers, who are The Ladies' other biggest fans, and who share their common passion for this intricate harmonic sound.
Quincie's success has really been a community effort, led by her own choices. Opportunities continue to unfold for her, as she continues to develop her skills and place her priority for a great life at the top of her list.
Raising a generation of happy, healthy, vibrant people is one of the biggest responsibilities we have as parents. If we hold space for their growth in the design of their own path, I feel we have fulfilled one of the greatest honors bestowed upon us. I"m so grateful to be a part of the expansion in my children's lives, as they continue to teach me how to help bring value to the world.
Both of my children are exceptional human beings.
(One day I will share with you some of the magnificence of Carlos!)
I feel much of their experience is shaped by a community of people who care about them, their being given lots of time and opportunity to delve deeply into what moves them, and their personal choices to make their passions a priority.
I'm grateful to see them succeed on their own terms,
and to pay it forward in bringing joy to others.
Read about one of the other surprise I received while in St. Louis!
