I have decided to cancel my plans to go on my trip overseas next month.
I cannot cope living like I have in the past.
While I have used this upcoming trip like a carrot on a stick to motivate me - after some honest conversations with close friends I have decided to stop pushing myself like this. I can't keep it up.
This has not come flippantly as I have been considering this decision for over a month and I have rewritten this message many times over the past week.
I must put the super-identity on a hanger and live a real life. I must make all future decisions without the flavour of reckless abandon and bring all parts of myself along for the ride. I must be kind to myself.
I will continue with my online projects including the remotely recorded music project Zen in a Nightclub (the release date for the first recordings will now be early-mid July).
Thanks,
Monty