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Dear Community, this time I come to you with not very good news. I’m certain that a few of you noticed my outburst on Threads a couple of days ago. I’m clearly not in a rational state of mind, and currently not in a position to provide good leadership for this community. I have doubts that anything I have actually contributed has been worthwhile, given that I myself failed to implement it – and I will not be a hypocrite by carrying on the same way. The first part of the Hippocratic Oath involved “doing no harm,” and I intend to make sure that my further actions will do no further harm. Even though the community here at Hive has been wonderful to me, and I do have the finances to continue this project, my current inability to lead it the right way is going to be a significant hamper. I had intended to build this all to the point that it would be self-sustained and I would only be peripherally involved for major decisions, but we did not yet reach this point. Hence, this has become an early termination of this project. Not to mention, I had planned on eventually expanding the scope of my posts on Hive, including revealing who I am and posting some of my artwork. In light of my mentally unstable posting, I will no longer do this. Believe it or not, in my field of work (healthcare), mental instability is significantly frowned upon, which is very ironic considering we’re supposed to be the profession of empathy. I will not risk my career nor my reputation this way. I believe that leaving Hive will allow me to do things for my family that I have neglected. I have been a terrible son and human being. The way I lead my life now is unacceptable. I am not a man, but a petulant, selfish child. I must become better for the sake of my small family. Based on my current behavior, I don’t think I will ever consider myself a true man, but I certainly will attempt to turn into one for the rest of my life (no transgender jokes here, please… I know the phrasing is silly). My only two options were to end my life or to improve myself as a person, which involves a complete overhaul of who I am. The first option would devastate my family (which I find irrational, given that I feel myself to be a huge burden on them, but again… I’m also not thinking rationally now), while the second option would at least permit me to help them to the best of my ability. Not to mention, the first option would be *cowardly and selfish* and I’m ashamed that it came to mind at all (although I deserve for it to happen, that’s completely different than using it as an easy way out). Thus, the choice was clear. This overhaul will be very consuming, and with the time needed for my job, I can only do so much. Thus, I’m going to start dismantling things in the FreeCompliments Community piece by piece. It is not something I will effectively handle anymore. All promised rewards for October will go out. I will ensure that everything which has been promised thus far will be honored. All rewards, contests, etc., will be completed as normal for October. All jobs will be paid. However, the first thing that will be removed is the monthly HSBI rewards for Comments and Threads (where 10 comments and or Threads earn 1 HSBI). This is to reduce the time I use in sending out rewards. The associated contests for Threads engagement and overall engagement will also come to an end. Certain jobs for November’s timelines will also come to an end. Finally, the early member rewards for November will also be removed. Those that were here for the HSBI rewards can thus leave if they wish. Since I have a reserve of liquid $HIVE on @fc-arbitration (and also some additional $HIVE I was trading from my personal account with the intention of sending over to @fc-arbitation), we’ll likely be able to continue sending out the daily rewards for posts for another month or two. I’ll also keep the curation going throughout November, possibly December. I’ll discuss the mental health initiative with my Mental Health Ambassadors. I currently pay them using HBD interest (in addition to HSBI), but would prefer to take those funds back. If they choose to continue for another month, I’ll keep this in place. Threads curation is also something that I can continue for another month, but after that it will end. I have a lot of medicine posts which I have written and not yet published, so the majority of my remaining posts will involve publishing these. After that, I will request Joseph Savage, the founder of HSBI, to send back the HIVE I contributed for HSBI from my personal account. It will not be an emergent, immediate request, and I have full trust that Joseph will return these as they become available. I will not rush it. I will keep the community accounts’ HSBI intact for a while. There are some people who earn beneficiary rewards from @hive-140084’s posts, and I intend to schedule those to continue for a long time. Since this account will lose the HSBI that I personally gifted, its rewards will eventually decrease, but not entirely. Why is this update unofficial? Because I understand that I am currently not in a rational state of mind. I’m genuinely a little bit nuts. Thus, over the course of the next week, as I deliver the rewards and contests for the community per their regular schedule, I am giving myself an opportunity to get back into a more normalized state of mind. Maybe by that point I will change my decision. However, due to the family obligations listed earlier, I don’t foresee this being the case. Thus, expect a formal, official leadership update sometime in the first half of November. ## Conclusion I am sorry to everyone that I have let down. I hope I have done you no harm. Ultimately, you may continue participating in the community as you see fit. However, it will not be the financially rewarding place that it has been over the past couple of years. You have been too good to me. I did not deserve your kindness and welcoming nature. My family also deserves better. It is time for me to do the right thing. ____________________________________________________________________ *Disclaimer: FreeCompliments (@hive-140084) will be a 20% beneficiary for this post.*

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sabrinah