Crossroads of the Heart: Who is @d-pend, Really?

___ ![lions_heart_by_kancano-d7bk9zn.jpg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmf2XDGd67Q4tqqqb4tNj6sSLbAmnf4d5yJoX4ky5mmcPC/lions_heart_by_kancano-d7bk9zn.jpg) ___ _{[Image: "Lion's Heart" by Kancano](https://www.deviantart.com/kancano/art/Lions-Heart-442685075)} ___

Introduction

Hey everybody. I hope this post finds you well (or even excellent!) This is probably going to be a long post, so feel free to click away now and find some juicy memes or something else more entertaining. Or, if you're one of my thousands of followers either inactive or who ghosted me, don't click on this post at all! (oh...too late, eh?)

But, if we've made any kind of connection here, take a couple minutes to scan this post. I'm going to reveal some things I haven't shared on Steemit before, because there's no time like the present to make a change. :-)

___ *(I also have to give thanks to @flauwy and @tribesteemup, whose focus for sharing conscious content activated something in me that has lain dormant for some time. [This post](https://steemit.com/tribesteemup/@flauwy/bi-weekly-tsu-question-what-is-the-best-way-to-move-forward-when-faced-with-dissension-within-your-community) came to me at the exactly right time.)* ___ ![Face Photograph - Daniel J Pendergraft.jpg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmVe1zLbAkC6nGXU6T74gbaxFQXGmcVKmapdB7Tr2XrR3f/Face%20Photograph%20-%20Daniel%20J%20Pendergraft.jpg) ___ _{Me last month, all dressed up and hair pulled back :-D
*If you want to see how long my hair is [here ya go.](https://steemit.com/actifit/@stay-active/actifit-stay-active-20180907t034350703z)*} ___

The more attentive of you may have noticed I changed my profile picture on Steemit, something I have never done in 15 months. Why? I feel a major shift coming. Most of you are probably wondering what the heck my profile picture ever was in the first place. Well, it was cropped from this lovely album cover created by my friend Chris Davis for the solo album that I unfortunately never completed (so far) titled "Cosmic Youth."

___ ![Daniel Pendergraft Cosmic Youth.jpg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmRo9GfTQf7YUFVTGtBo9RKAzvhmj5Wc2BTne1k3w1LZhT/Daniel%20Pendergraft%20Cosmic%20Youth.jpg) ___

Below, here's a youtube video of me and my longtime friend/former bandmate @samvan playing a slowed-down piano/guitar version of the first track off that album back in Winter 2016 when I stayed in Nashville for several months to record all the instrumental parts for the album.

___ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DiPSVRHE1Yo ___

Where Does "@d-pend" Come From?

Many of you know that it originates from my name, Daniel Pendergraft. It was one of many creative nicknames that I was called over the years by musician friends. I didn't know the name would be permanent when I joined because I knew nothing about the STEEM blockchain! I never had any desire to affect some pointless "privacy" on the internet, because I knew the government already had every single detail about my life. In the modern world, privacy is something of a frail illusion. With high enough technology, a hacker can find out everything they want to know about you.

I liked the name because of its multiple entendre: it stood for my given name, but could also be interpreted severally as "deep end," "depend" (as in dependable, not the adult diapers, thank you very much!) "deepened," etc. The d and the p with a dash in between could also create something of a yin-yang representing opposing yet equal polarities. (d-p)

___ ![31842381833_0a3c1541f7_h.jpg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmXeunm3HXv5v3fHfTNrvYVfMvoyrT5kZz1xzEjrzeCFFN/31842381833_0a3c1541f7_h.jpg) ___ _{[yin-yang image source](https://www.flickr.com/photos/sherrie_d_larch/31842381833/in/photostream/)} ___

Why I Joined Steemit

When I joined Steemit I was coming out of a rather dismal phase of my life. I won't tell the story here (at least, not in this post), but it's a story about beatboxing, gaming addiction and feeling directionless. At the time I joined in June 2017 I was living with my parents in Allen, TX but a week later I moved all the way to the lovely mountains of Boone, NC.

Once I got to Boone, I made a couple of promises to myself. I would use only Steemit as my social media, as I wanted to start over from square one. (I have 5000 friends on Facebook and used to post there very frequently about metaphysics, nonduality, consciousness, spirituality, and related topics.) I also used to make podcasts discussing these topics, which never really got many listens, but I enjoyed making them anyway.

___ [![the good ol galaxy.jpg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmYuvsZGKZaJqFQ5BQwQNuxLhNvXNtLfNUgHdc8FZ6ZJ2v/the%20good%20ol%20galaxy.jpg)
link to my old podomatic website](https://d-pendergraft.podomatic.com/)
___ _{[galaxy image source](http://www.qygjxz.com/galaxy-wallpaper/5785139.html)} ___

Promise to Myself

The second promise was that I would write and post a poem everyday, staying true to my artistic and philosophical inclinations. I would try to build a following around something that seemed impossible to become successful with: experimental, strange, and esoteric poetry. I decided to stay away from posting too much about spirituality in prose form, because I was very burned out and jaded due to what I had experienced being part of these communities in the past.

The more "spiritual" people seemed to think they were, the more elitist and arrogant they seemed to get about just about everything, including their intelligence, "superior" diet, knowledge, wisdom, "vibrational frequency," fearlessness, godliness, etc. I was fed up with all these dualistic and false human concepts and had found them to do just as much harm as good.

___ ![transcension_by_parablev-d8nabt0.jpg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmTALZC4XfVGTm9H1LTH1Beu7UMey9mdPqyThH8aNu4iy3/transcension_by_parablev-d8nabt0.jpg) ___ [Image: "Transcension" by Cameron Gray](https://www.deviantart.com/parablev/art/Transcension-522842436) ___

The Beauty of Encryption

Instead, I would encode my intimate thoughts and feelings into poetry. This avoided pointless debates and the endless bickering of those with conflicting ideologies. I could express myself without any fear of wasting time with these unproductive activities because my beliefs were conveyed in a manner difficult to understand without spending some time to unravel what was being said.

That way, I avoided the attention of those without the patience to study and comprehend the pieces on a deeper level. Of course, the downside of this approach is that there is only a microscopic handful of people willing to do so. However, I didn't care about quantity. If I touched only one person, it made what I was doing worth it.

___ [![c48g6mV.jpg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmZsrkgkuZWZpbUCxmX2xgsdN9k2Vfz1R1DWSfNpb2gA8K/c48g6mV.jpg)
my first ever Steemit post](https://steemit.com/poetry/@d-pend/hello-steemit-world) ___

Interests Other Than Poetry

___

If you want to ask about my interests, it would probably be easier to ask what I'm not interested in. Or more specifically, what I'm least interested in. I hold an endless fascination with the reality in which we find ourselves. I've been like this since a young child, and the only time this ebbs is during phases where my depression is more crippling.

To list some of my greatest areas of passion, expertise and/or curiosity: piano, singing, beatboxing, trombone, music composition, nonduality (advaita), meditation, world religions, spirituality, culinary arts, nutritional balancing, foreign languages [Spanish, Japanese, Malayalam, Chinese], biochemistry, quantum physics, cryptocurrency, video games, digital and traditional art, photography, programming, etc. Out of anything I can think of, what interests me the least is politics.

___ ![reduce quality.jpg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmWo1s2f8XUKtqJMCjJ688C5BVTgf8AagsQBRzNzkoWgnZ/reduce%20quality.jpg) ___ _{[study image source](https://www.deviantart.com/michael-d-beckwith/art/Abbotsford-House-Study-Room-734246956)} ___

What is the Future of @d-pend?

That, my friends, is the open question of the day. And to you, dear readers, I want to extend the opportunity to weigh in. Do you like that I have kept my blog to poetry (and music), avoiding other types of content, including more contentious areas of discussion? Or should I open my heart and trust wider to the Steemit community and show more of my "self?"

I have a deep intuition that something big is happening, that I'm launching into a different phase of my existence on this planet. I want to share it with all of you, while protecting my peace of mind as well as respecting different lifestyles from my own. You have my heart, because every human being is my mother-father-sister-brother. Now, it's up to us where this journey leads.

___ **Sending infinite love and gratitude to each one of you from the bottom of my soul.**

Wholeness, @d-pend 9/7/18

To Be Continued.....

___ ![meditation_by_leonard_art.jpg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmd3CWRU2qjU8gjn1CpVaU9PuPbFuy3UQcFNiUen1HXVhs/meditation_by_leonard_art.jpg) ___ _{["Meditation" by leonard art](https://www.deviantart.com/leonard-art/art/Meditation-61266428)

*Note: I will be promoting this post with several bid-bots, because it is rather important to me.*} ___

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