Each New Year bring this song's lyrics to mind:

>Is this the New Year or just another night? >Is this the new fear or just another fright? >Is this the new tear or just another desperation?" >*Switchfoot - The Blues* I have this deep fear about setting goals, getting amped about dreams, new beginnings, resolutions... Even as I sit, filled with hope and excitement, writing down my list of things to accomplish in this New Year, there is this feeling deep inside that it's just never gonna happen. I'm never going to muster up the self-discipline to see plans through. I'm never going to sacrifice the easy life for the meaningful, challenging, and world-changing life. My father confronted me many years ago, asking me if I have ever tried my best. And the honest answer, even now 11 or 12 years later, is **no**. I have never pushed myself to the edge of me. I have never given my all and poured myself out. I stop just short. In everything. Like there is this rope tied around me, keeping me from getting outside the comfort zone, from getting to the best. ![rad_example.gif](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmbYcUtV7RW4r4UCzRYB8GMW5qAfuRcuZiywmePR5DHbW9/rad_example.gif) This is how I see it. The rope is fixed in the center of the circle. I can travel to the edges and circumnavigate that whole thing. It's nice and spacious. It gives the impression that I have gone far. So that's where the song lyrics come in. Asking the whole time, is this time going to be for real? Am I going to be able to achieve what I set out to do?? To change? to grow? "Is this the New Year, or just another night?" With all that acknowledged finally, I am going to do it. I am going to make a list (and this time it's public) of what I will achieve in this New Year. This new season... This is my time. I think I know it somehow. *** ## 2019 DREAMS ### - Present free classes on general health, pregnancy, birth and parenting The location will probably be at my church, since it has a good amount of comfortable seating and is at a central point in town. It will be free for all who attend, and I will post the contents of the class on Steemit (and link the Steemit article to my facebook account) after the presentation takes place. ### - Take a course in herbalism I am so desperate to know more about herbs! I hope to find a foraging expert in my area who can help me with plant identification. I want to learn about tinctures, decoctions, infusions and pretty much everything! ### - Build up a natural healing cabinet Like people usually have a medicine cabinet with Panado for headaches and Bactroban for wounds, I want to have a natural version for every problem we could come across at home! ### - Reduce, reuse, recycle I have a good compost heap already, but now I need to get our household living a waste-free life. We have a few recycling drop-offs in town that I can make use of, so I just need to get into the swing of sorting our waste. The non-recyclable items I want to use to make ecobricks. I plan to use the ecobricks to make raised garden beds. ![17349996_1135312493244878_431733379129015398_o.jpg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmdTnTx54NeRGK742aihzgn47VtZR8DLNxdVLbrjdFhjKp/17349996_1135312493244878_431733379129015398_o.jpg) ![17342865_1135312486578212_6216269997661251871_n.jpg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmXLsKVigwe8v7DuXom2ZEBiJPLaMGJZ7gyJzZu51J2YQd/17342865_1135312486578212_6216269997661251871_n.jpg) Images from [EcoBrick Exchange](https://www.facebook.com/EcoBrickExchange/posts/the-project-use-ecobricks-to-construct-a-raised-garden-bedraised-garden-beds-tak/1135320949910699/) ### - Eat real food I only want to eat food that will nourish, protect and build up my body. No compromising. Not even when we are visiting family that don't eat like us. It will take a lot of planning and determination, especially to find the best sources of animal and plant products. ### - Grow food and herbs I so badly want to grow all our (non-animal based) food and herbs in my own garden. That way I can know for sure that no pesticides are used, and that everything is picked when it's at its best. I have a fig tree, apple tree and pomegranate tree. I have delicious strawberries, nastergal (nightshade), swiss chard, piquant peppers, tomatoes, numex twilight chillies, mint, wormwood, lemongrass, chia plants, lamb's ear, aloe vera, purslane, amaranth, sweet corn and strawberry popcorn! ![47571662_10157128495392868_6838918833927880704_n.jpg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmayvb6VCUM51u9GJnQDW9h7MHPDBeArBGvQjaMFQdz5Qo/47571662_10157128495392868_6838918833927880704_n.jpg) Photo by my sister at [Living Mountain Photography](https://www.facebook.com/LivingMountainPhotography/). This is my feverfew plant. It propogates so easily! #### Other goals: - Get fit and strong - Read at least one book per month - Learn a new language (Setswana) - Building and strengthening relationships (with God, family and friends) - Communicate more effectively and clearly **I am going to give my all to live a life that is meaningful,** and not get held back and tied down! Thanks for reading! I want to post this as part of NATURAL MEDICINE NEW YEAR CHALLENGE: What's Your Healing Resolution? https://steemit.com/naturalmedicine/@naturalmedicine/natural-medicine-new-year-challenge-what-s-your-healing-resolution?sort=new

vanessamidwife