Nobody. That’s right, nobody picked the intentional lie. But there were a couple that I phrased not very well, so there is a winner, on a technicality. You’ll need to wait a few minutes to see who it was.
My lie was:
My first boyfriend was born on exactly the same day as I was.
He was actually born the day before me.
Although it was the least interesting statement in the list, I did think that it would be rare enough that somebody would pick it. But in fact it was so boring that apparently nobody even noticed it.
Now the (hopefully) much more interesting stories about the True statements.
I was only 16 when I started University
Typically children will spend anywhere between 1.75 and 2.5 years in what we used to call the Primers, but is now called Years 1 and 2. My birthday being April, I was in the Primers for about 1.75 years, which made me younger than most of my classmates already by Year 3. Then when I was in Standard 4 (Year 6) I was in a combined Std 4 / Form 1 (Year 7) class – which was not uncommon back then. At the start of the next year, Mum marched into the headmaster’s office and said “Deborah did all the same work as the Form 1’s. She should go straight to Form 2.” So I was taken from my peers and put into an older class. Scholastically that was fine, but socially it really wasn’t. I have sometimes wondered where my life would have gone if that had been different.
So anyway, after 5 years of high school, it was just assumed I would go to University, and off I went, aged 16. Though, to be fair, I turned 17 just a month into the University year. So, @wesakab, in normal circumstances you would be quite right. But my circumstances didn’t end up being usual!
I’ve broken a plank of wood with the side of my hand
This was part of a personal development course in the Turning Point series, back in the early 90’s. It’s actually not as hard as you might think. It’s all about technique. Part of that is focus, and part of that is envisaging that the point you’re aiming for is somewhere on the other side of the wood.
Maybe if I’d tried to do it with my forehead, @tattoodjay, it would have been much more difficult! And @dreemit, my darling, how could you doubt me?
I was in my 30’s before I learnt to ride a bicycle
Sorry, @trevor.george, @meesterboom, @peggyhazelwood. It’s weirdly true I was a kiwi kid that didn’t have a bike, and never learnt to ride one. We lived reasonably close to the school, the shops and other family, and I just got used to walking. I was also a very nervous child and never felt drawn to it.
But then, of course, when I was 30, I met @sift666, whose passion was riding, and in 1991 we opened a sifty green and purple bike shop in the alternative part of town. So it was time to buy a mountain bike and learn to ride it. I never really took to it though, I have to admit.
Oddly, my BFF also never learnt to ride a bike as a child, so maybe it’s not that rare.
I’ve sung with the NZ Symphony Orchestra
I really did this too, @builderofcastles. It was with a huge group of people, of course, me not being soloist material. I wrote about it here: @kiwideb/singing-carols-with-the-nz-symphony-orchestra-plus-my-favourite-xmas-music
The last time I vomited was 1982
I really, really hated throwing up as a child. Then as a young adult, I somehow never got drunk enough to throw up, or even have a hangover. I seemed to have an inbuilt mechanism that stopped me drinking at a certain point, without even realising it. Despite having other digestive issues, I seem to be immune to gastro type bugs, so have never had one of those. I get motion sick but have found I can control it in various ways, such as lying flat on my back or using EFT. So being sick was never “normal” for me.
In 1982, I went to Rarotonga for a trip. In the last couple of days, my armpit swelled up and I got sick. I suspect it was some kind of insect bite. While waiting for the plane home, I was woozy, nauseous and worried about how I was going to cope with the flight home. We boarded, and I immediately got out the sick bag and held it in front of my face, praying “Please don’t let me throw up. Please don’t let me throw up, right here on the plane.” As soon as we took off, though, I had no control.
And that’s it, folks. I have felt nauseous maybe a handful of time since then, but I fight it, so far successfully. Bentonite clay is great for settling an upset stomach due to eating something unsuitable, for example. Sorry to disappoint, @alignment, @themagus and @mineopoly.
I’ve been photographed up a ladder, in my underwear, on a busy city street
Huh, why did nobody pick this? I don’t know whether to be flattered or insulted ;-)
In 1989, I was one of Miss Mona’s “girls” in a production of The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas. Part of our publicity included a handful of the “girls” going out into the city, during our lunch hours, in our underwear, for publicity photos. And then of course, we performed on stage in said underwear. We did this show in the middle of winter, so it was not warm in the city for our photos!
I ate no plant foods for an entire year
At one time, @stephmckenzie and @manorvillemike, I would have agreed that it wasn’t healthy to eat no plant foods. Then, about three years ago, I heard about people who were eating only steak and were supremely healthy. At the time, it felt like something I needed to do and for a while it worked really well. Although I ate mainly meat, and some of it raw, I also ate eggs and some dairy.
But after a year, although it didn’t do terrible things to my health, I felt like I needed plants again. I wrote a little about that here: @kiwideb/why-i-ate-nothing-but-meat-for-a-year-and-why-i-m-now-eating-plants-again. So ultimately, I came back to thinking that, in the long term, I did need some plant foods. Though I did then have a little foray into eating a few grains again, and that WAS disastrous.
A lot of the people I met then are still healthy on no plants. It still seems to me to be no more extreme than the other end of the spectrum, no animal foods. At both ends, there are people who will thrive, people who need to go there for a temporary reset, and others that just shouldn’t go there ever. (And you all know I’m a fan of it being fine for us to have different views on this issue.)
A website with a lot more info on Zero Carb: https://zerocarbzen.com/
Ding, Ding, Ding. We have a winner…
How so? Well, as @marianneyardley pointed out, it wasn’t an entire year. I had forgotten, but when I checked my food diary, I started on Zero Carb on the 10th April, 2015 and started back on plant foods on the 9th April 2016. I was one day short of it being an ENTIRE year.
So @stephmckenzie is the winner, on a technicality, but a winner nevertheless. I’m sure the irony of the reason for this escapes neither of us.
Carrying on with the Truths…
I’ve danced naked on a tabletop
This was also in the Turning Point days. One weekend, I was involved in a workshop for just women. At the end of the weekend, when we were all just relaxing together, the suggestion that I do a striptease somehow came out of the conversation. There were a lot of women on the course who had been abused, and this was something very confronting for them. But because it was only women, and it felt safe, I was comfortable with the idea.
When I say “a table”, it was really a small trolley that a couple of friends held steady for me. The music I chose was “Private Dancer” by Tina Turner. I was wearing a stretchy dress than I could gradually slip out of. It certainly added a whole new dimension to the weekend!
Again, why did nobody pick this? I still don’t know whether to be flattered or insulted ;-) I would have given someone the win for this as well. It would have been more accurate to call it stripping on a tabletop. Although I was stark naked at the end, for most of it I wasn’t.
I drank my own urine
As @kiwiscanfly said – who hasn’t?
Most of you probably know this already, as he has spilled the beans. When @sift666 was diagnosed with a massive brain tumour in 2002, he was prepared to try all sorts of things (except surgery and radiation). The problem was that there was a lot of information about cancer, but very little about benign tumours. So we just threw anything and everything at it, not knowing what would help.
One of the books we read was The Golden Fountain, about urine therapy. A lot of people seemed to be getting great results, so he was prepared to give it a go. But it wasn’t easy, so I decided to give him some moral support and do it too.
It’s not as ghastly as you might think. But it’s still unpleasant enough to make it difficult every single time. I think we lasted about a month. But the interesting thing was that I did notice some improvements in a couple of niggly things that had been bothering me. Coincidence?
Sorry, @dreemsteem, @onetree, @biyanoor, @praada, I hope you’re not too disgusted, disillusioned and disappointed.
I was chosen for not one, but two, jobs because they thought I would be tough enough to handle the difficult people I’d need to work with and not take their nonsense
Since @kiwiscanfly has been and visited us a couple of times, and knows what a kind, sweet person I am {has choking fit}, he can be forgiven for doubting anyone would think I’m tough. Actually, I don’t even think I’m tough.
But back in the 90’s, I went for a temp job that was intended to be 10 weeks, till they found a permanent Assistant Accountant. In the end, I worked there as a contractor, on and off, for a few years. It was quite a few months later that the Accountant admitted to me that he had chosen me because two of the managers I’d have to work with were difficult in different ways, and he thought I could handle them. (He was right, by the way, mainly because I didn’t get upset if they got stressed and threw a hissy fit.)
The previous time was when I was working as a Victim Support volunteer. The cops were looking for four people to attend an AC/DC concert, and wanted people who wouldn’t feel intimidated by the concert goers. Our co-ordinator took photos of us all and the cops picked us from the photos. The only possible explanation for them picking me is “resting bitch face”. (Though again, they picked it right, and none of us did feel intimidated.)
Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed these little back stories
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