It's the ultimate arrogance - and maybe the ultimate stupidity - to have and raise a child who will be just like you. The assumption that you are the best version of Human there is, and that our world needs More People Like You, is fundamentally flawed. But it remains the dream, and, tragically, the norm for so many.
The world around us is troubled on so many levels. One just needs to flick over to an online news channel to see how broken we collectively are - from species extinction, pollution, deforestation and environmental poisoning to armed conflicts, refugee crises, violence, suicide, cancers and depression. Collectively, generally, globally, we're not in great shape.
Image Credit: Pixabay
And in the midst of that global mess, @ecotrain's Question of the Week asks us: Do You Think It's A Good Idea or a Bad Idea to Bring Children Into These Troubled Times?
Image by Gerd Maiss from Pixabay
My response is a simple question: "How could you contemplate NOT evolving a better version of yourself to repair, rebuild and recreate?"
Notice how deftly I sidestepped that "bringing another human into the world" bit? For multiple reasons. It's a western arrogance to assume every woman has a choice - it simply isn't like that in many parts of the world. And for some women, it is only through becoming mothers that they are able to access and heal their own deep wounds. But no, you don't have to physically birth that child yourself. And yes, I think there are far too many people inhabiting Mother Earth already. Just think: if each couple raises just one child; in a generation or two, we will see a reduction in the global population of at least half, allowing for random deaths. The Chinese were on to something.
But so, so often that "I'm not contributing another child to a broken world" becomes the ultimate avoidance of responsibility. People don't want to birth more young people. Got that. But they also, frequently, don't want to raise better versions of themselves either. Cos that's hard, and thankless, and personally challenging and yes, it can and does limit your personal choices for roughly two decades.
To choose to raise someone else's child, if you don't give birth to your own, is a mandate we all need to accept for a healing and more whole earth. We all need to actively input into one young person's life instead of hiding behind endless travel, the collection of 'stuff', instability, the refusal to be financially responsible and the fear of facing our own dark shadow self so that we might contribute to a lighter, more creative soul who can surpass and outpace us while she goes on to clean up the messes our generation has made.
Image by John Hain from Pixabay
I am, avowedly, an advocate of one child families. It is, I believe, the only way forward for humanity, both in terms of reduction of global population and the raising of consciousness. James Redfield had something important to say about this in his book of more than 20 years ago, The Secret of Shambhala, where the conscious parents chose only to have one child, in order to give maximum, conscious presence and awareness to that one Being. "You should never take responsibility for more children than you can give full presence and attention to."
But choosing to have no children and choosing to not be involved, consistently and intensively, with the conscious raising of one child for about 20 years straight (which is what it takes!) perpetuates the downward spiral. And THAT, my friends, is what's not an option.
The conscious children, raised by adults who "choose differently", is what our world needs. To repair, rebuild, reconstruct and recreate.
Image by Phichit Wongsunthi from Pixabay
My Personal Journey:
My only daughter was born at the age of almost 41 after a lifetime (till then) of being avowedly childless. Yes, I was that critical, annoying person who complained about other people's children in restaurants and on airplanes. I was, in no way shape or form, planning to contribute to the problems of the world.
I can't pinpoint the day it changed, exactly, but it was during my first year living in Thailand, after the suicide of my lover, and after seeing a different paradigm for family and a different set of social values at very close quarters.
My 40th birthday, after a long discussion of the ills of the world, was the day we decided to try for a baby (after medical advice I could never conceive). It happened immediately. Her male twin died in the 5th month in-utero and my daughter was safely delivered on Thai Mother's Day, exactly 9 months to the day from our decision to try for a baby. My western doctors were amazed.
I am raising her NOT to be like me per se, but to THINK for herself, to not subscribe to any one religion or culture, to assess and analyse, and to be a contributor for positive change on the global stage.
She is my best contribution to a deeply troubled world.
My daughter, Kawisaraa Marit (nicknamed Ploi, which means 'Sparkling Jewel'), being blessed by her Thai great grandmother, who was still actively farming her own land at age 97.
Ploi and I at the airport 2 weeks ago - she is currenty, at age 14, on her first solo international trip in South Korea. My already tri-lingual Global Girl.
Contributing to the @earthtribe. Cos it MATTERS.
