what ppl call a triggerwarningThis post is written by someone owning her story of abuse like a boss. It may disturb you!
So, here I am. Society loves talking privileges these days, so let's focus on mine here:
I am a member of this part of society who came into the favor of being raped by the elite.
I have come out of the closet, last year and started telling everybody who didn't want to know, that I have been abused as a child. And soon I learned that this changed people's perception of me. All the sudden some of them were starting to think of me as a victim. Others got angry, one even told me he wanted to execute all child molesters.
Let me be the judge here!
The first thing I have to say is back, the hell, off! This is MY pain! When people react emotionally to my story, it doesn't help me a bit. Opposite. Sometimes their reaction makes me feel sorry for them, which is ridiculous. So, please: Stay cool. Whatever I tell you.
@barge shared this wonderful post a few days ago: Breaking the Silence…
…where he talks about the courage to speak about those topics and he shares the wonderful podcast 'The Karma Police Podcast: A toolkit for abuse survivors'. This wonderful project is founded be Steemian @matrjoschka who is a survivor of child abuse himself and shares highly valuable knowledge about the abuse itself and – which is the best part – about the healing process. Going through all of this,
I felt the urge to wite about it again. About what I deem a privilege
Have you watched the movie SPLIT, maybe? This thriller about a man who has a dissociative identity disorder (DID) and is diagnosed with 23 personalities? What nobody knows … he's just building up a new personality, a very powerful one that shall survive EVERYTHING!
What I loved about this movie – besides the slow way of telling it in loooong pictures – is the fact how they share lots of facts about this disorder.
blind people start seeing
For instance, did you know, that a human with multiple personalities has different diagnosis for all of them? While one personality can love and eat nuts, one of the others could have a veriviable allergy that would kill him if he ate just one. Different personalities can have different diseases and even blood types. It even goes as far as that some of them could be blind whilst others are capable of seing. I am not making this up. This is what's way beyond most people's heads.
Look at this, e.g.:
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-3333615/The-blind-woman-suddenly-37-year-old-multiple-personalities-finds-vision-changes-depending-character-is.html
My Privilege
so, what's this privilege I am talking about? Oh, so many. I don't know where to start. First of all: I got raped by rich people. By doctors and others who were capable of doing the job right. They narcotized me. Someone I was just talking to used a current case of a british man who raped his own niece since she was a baby. I guess, I can't compare myself to that. In a way, I think I am privileged for being raped by the elite. My suspiscion is that I got into it after my mother tested my IQ.
DON'T EVER DO THAT TO YOUR CHILD!It puts them on radar for psychopaths. Quite sure about it.
So I was always being part of some rich people's rituals. They gave me presents before it started, they numbed me and took me to exciting sights. I was never raped on a dirty floor by a dirty uncle, having his dirty eyes in front of me. It didn't make me lose my trust in people. It affected me in a way that I kind of always 'hated' rich people. I was always holding something against them.
MK ULTRA and Super Soldiers
Given the fact that I was tested with a high IQ, I sometimes wonder if my experience was connected to any kind of scary secret program that most people don't know Scheiße about. For in a DID lies a big strength. The Sowjets, the Germans and the USA today are known for secret experiments where they purposly tortured and raped children to make them split their personality. The idea was/is that the new formed personality may have got some qualities that others don't have and that could be assassable. The idea of building sleepers and such.
I dissociated back then. I am not having a split personality, however I feel like I grew from this experience by learning what my mind is capable of. I can leave. And maybe that formed some connections in my brain that other people don't have. It could be the reason why I am having major experiences in seing things that most people can't see. Like shadows and orbs, beings from other dimensions, with my own eyes! Or when I look into the sky for a while, I feel like seing molecules and electrons. I can leave my body in a meditation, I am a very powerful witch and have conjured a house for myself. Everything I manifest, appears short ahead.
Let's say I am quite advanced in using and understanding what people call EMPTY SPACE. I found out about this space because I got abused back then. Maybe I could have learned all of that an easier way. But it is what it is.
Why do I sense the author's anger while reading?
Because I am. Not about the abuse, but about the ignorance. I am tired of people's ideas of rape. I don't want to execute anybody and I am not searching for revenge. Stop reacting, please. Start listening. It's our story. And we know something you don't.
***
Are you on smoke.io? Let's connect!
***
and if you like my magic …
