There has been one barrier that has tripped me throughout my whole life, and that is the thought that I need the confidence to succeed.
In my mind’s eye, I see this person (me in another dimension) strolling effortlessly through life, with enough confidence to say what is needed to be said and to do what is required to be done.
For 40 years I have strived to be this person.
Yes, I’m painfully shy, but is that really a bad thing?
I take a little bit of time to get to know people, and I’m not great at small talk, but so what?
This constant quest has resulted in social anxiety and a mountain top I will never reach.
So, I have come to the realisation finally, that the answer is to accept myself as who I am and tackle the mountain one step at a time, enjoy the discomfort, and the journey and where I end up is not as important as the new connections and friendships I make.
So this forms my basis to the answer question posed by @freedomtribe …
Learn to Accept Yourself
So, I lost sight of what is really important in life, that happiness is found on the inside and not to have unrealistic expectations of yourself.
Freedom is in accepting yourself, your limitations and being gentle with yourself.
You can still strive for things, set yourself goals, but make plenty of little goals to encourage you as you hit each one.
Some of them need to be in reach, like stepping stone across a pond.
You can’t expect to jump over the pond and not get wet.
But if you use stepping stones, you can get to your destination in dry clothing and instead of a soggy rucksack, you have a bag full of newly achieved mini goals.
Enjoy the journey. Sure you might slip and get a toe wet, or get a squishy sock, or there may be holes in your shoes and the water seeps in, but you carry on regardless.
When we never stop, never quit, and we keep reaching out to improve ourselves and to help the world and people around us, then you know what?
We are doing okay.
It's Okay, All is Well
It might be our words, our kindness, our actions that make an impact somehow.
Even just making someone laugh or smile every day (and that person can be yourself by the way), the world is a little brighter.
Just don’t try to be someone who is entirely who you are not.
I will never be a ruthless businesswoman, not that deep down I ever wanted to be one.
But that’s what I was encouraged to be like, and a marketing degree, masters and many failed job interviews kind of show it wasn’t the right path, but the knowledge has served me well and my university days contain some of my happiest memories.
Actually there is planned university meet up in a month or so, and I’m really looking forward to that, with more than an ounce of social anxiety mind, but I have made my mind up to face these challenges and get out from behind the keyboard and use my voice as I’m so out of practice at that.
But I like to listen too.
And you what, that's okay also.
That’s me, where I am on my journey.
I have lots of good qualities that I am known for and, I try my hardest to remind myself of these when anxiety hits.
I’m actually beginning to like who I am.
And I’m feeling a whole lot lighter for it, and freedom is in reach in so many ways.
My Greatest Wish
I don’t know why it takes so long to learn that lesson, but my greatest wish is that everyone comes to that realise its okay to be who they are before the age of 20 and enjoy many years feeling the bliss of personal, spiritual and mental freedom.
