Yay! It’s the weekend!!! So that can really only mean ONE THING!!

It’s time for the #weekendfreewrite!

Each week @mariannewest gives three #freewrite prompts and you have to write for five minutes using each prompt - but no cheating and looking at the next prompt UNTIL you have finished with the first one!

You can find this weeks first prompt here: @mariannewest/weekend-freewrite-2-2-2019-part-1-the-first-sentence

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Who would have thought that a simple trip to the grocery store for my wife would have resulted in this?

As I hid behind the cereal aisle, wondering if Kelloggs cornflakes had the power to stop bullets, I guessed my wife might well have thought it.

Things had been going badly for a while, she'd told me she was leaving me, I said I'd change, I didn't change and then she left. Moved in with some young guy she'd met in group therapy.

The same young guy who was shooting at me from the doorway of the grocery store.

He had a balaclava over his face, but I'd recognise those trainers anywhere. Pink. I mean, really?

Why on earth did I agree to go to the grocery store for a wife who had left me for a young guy who was about to try to kill me, you may ask.

Well, she'd invited me over to talk about how to manage the divorce “in an adult manner for once, but could you pop into the grocery store, you know the one round the corner? I really miss their donuts!"

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When the Aliens come and get me this Saturday, I thought, as a bullet whizzed past my ear, exploding a packet of cookies on the shelf behind me, they are going to be a little disappointed if I'm dead.

The Aliens.

My best friends, from the other side of the universe, as we like to joke. They actually live three blocks on the other side of the river, but you'd might as well be on the other side of the universe the time it takes to drive over on a Saturday.

Especially if there is a game on.

Tim Alien had been my best friend since high school. His wife, Linda, we both met in university. I should have married her, really. Instead of the woman who got her boy-child-boyfriend to come and kill me.

"I know who you are!" I shouted, when the shooting stopped for a moment. "Its Billy-boy, isn't it? Helen’s new boyfriend."

There was a pause, and then a young voice, pretending to be deeper than it was said, "No... what makes you think that?"

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"Your shoes," I shouted. "Only you would go out to try to murder someone in such idiotically conspicuous shoes."

Pause. Then, "Don't diss the shoes, man."

I laughed, "I also saw your face through the dirty window of the store, anyway idiot, before you put the mask on."

I heard a cough and then Mr Mckenzie, the owner of the grocery store, shouted, "Hey! I cleaned those windows, yesterday. Don't insult my store. Get out. Go on! Get murdered outside. You're making a mess of my store as it is. I don't want to have to clean up your blood, as well."

I paused and then shouted to Billy-boy "Hey! What do you say? Cease fire until I can come outside and then you can shoot me out on the sidewalk, away from the nice man's store?"

Pause.

"Yeah... Okay." I took a deep breath and stood up. Amazingly, the idiot didn't shoot me, and I was able to walk over the remains of cereal packets over to the door. I held out my hand and like the idiot he was Billy-boy tried to shake it. I grabbed the gun, kicked him in the balls and told Mr McKenzie to call the cops.

...

As usual I used themostdangerouswritingapp.com to write each five minute freewrite (and then tidied it up a bit in google docs afterwards):

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