Greetings loyal followers.
Earlier this week, a leader of your people sent a transmission requesting its recipients to ask him anything.
Of course you would!
Because I become physically ill every time I see my repulsive, fetid, and imbecilic boss, I inquired if there were any openings in upper management.
Your leader responded by asking me for "references". I did not know what those were. Apparently on your planet, it is customary for previous employers to speak on your behalf when you are seeking new employment. Because I am a genius, I deduced that this means it is also customary for employees to allow their previous employers/teachers/mentors to live. That blew my mind. How do you all not kill your bosses at some point? Perhaps there is something wrong with my communicator again because that makes absolutely no sense.
One of these days Emperor... Bang! Zoom! Right down the endless shaft!
I asked my executive assistant Vera (who is employee of the month every month) what she thought your people meant by "references".
She went on to explain your primitive hiring practices which include "applying" for a job. What? Why would I need to "apply" for anything? I am the freaking Chosen One. By definition, that means I should just be chosen for anything I want.
But out of respect for Vera, I decided to humor your planet's prospective employers and complete the customary process.
Vera informed me that the first step is to complete an "application".
OK. Fair enough.
I'd rather just complete a "Give me this freaking job or I will Force Choke you and your stupid cat" form... but when in Rome.
When in Rome... I look awesome just like I do everywhere in the universe.
Attention all employers who would like the privilege of hiring the greatest being in the history of time!
Here is my "application" for employment:
Ooo! Ooo! Ooo! Pick me... or else.
Bang! Zoom!
When in Rome
Mere formality