As humans we are always happy when we have someone to blame for a misfortune and we always wish we are the ones that gets the praises for doing something good. Life indeed is not fair most of the time to some people and that is why they easily lean towards that part and blame all their misfortune on the unfairness of life. Getting married to someone is not something we should take for granted, dating someone is even a work on it's own not to mention marriage. This is one aspect of life that some people see as a game and they play with it, they don't really settle down to make choices on who to spend the rest of their lives with and in the end they resolve to divorce.
Have you ever heard the saying, look before you leap? Don't ever try to mistake it for leap before you look because I think that's what most people do today. Most of all, we should learn how to be responsible for our actions for once, blaming something on someone is never a way out, it might even just make the whole situation worse. A lot of people have gotten into marriages that they no longer understand why they made that decision in the first place. A lot of parents wake up in the night to cry because they've looked back and they've realized they made a wrong choice.
It becomes a even bigger problem when a child or children are involved. A relationship can't be there when two people don't relate, it can be funny how two people who were so fond of themselves end up as strangers and sometimes enemies. Well, these things are bound to happen because people will always be people, they hardly learn from the mistakes of others, they prefer to make the mistakes themselves before they can learn from it. A wise person once said the best way to learn is to learn from the experiences of others and not ourselves because we might never get the chance to rewrite our wrongs.
Training up a child is something that becomes a lot effective when both parents are involved in it and that's why one has to be very mindful of the partner they choose, that is one has to think of his or her child when planning to choose a partner. You should choose a partner that your children would be proud of you for making such choice and not the other way around. Having a broken home is a disease and it spreads really fast and that's why you have to be very intention about the home bringing you give to your kids.
If one ever get separated from a marriage, the impact would be both the couple and the children but would be more on the parent taking care of the children. His or her work load is doubled, now he or she has to carry the cross that two persons were supposed to carry, of course that is not going to be an easy task. But then such a person still has the responsibility of taking good care of his or her child. Mind you, this shouldn't be the time for teaching your child how to hate the other party for discarding them, trust me there are many other things you want to be doing.
I've seen broken homes where most single parents are more focused on telling their children how bad the other party is, rather than actually teaching them what they should learn and this is how most children now grow up with a mindset that can hardly be erased. A single parent will always try to portray his or herself as a good person in the presence of his or child except for few that actually never care for that child. As a single parent, this is a time when you want to revolve your world around your children, you want to teach them of the mistakes you made and not that of others.
As a single parent never hide some certain things from your children because eventually they will find out and that might make them miserable. As a single parent also, you want to live a life of example because your kids are always watching you, don't be a parent that gives the rule and also break it because that won't end well at all. Always learn how to engage your children in friendly conversations to know what they are thinking or what they might be facing. No matter how hectic your work might be, learn to have time for them because they need you more.
And that is one reason why you have to be financially stable before having children because you can't explain to them why they won't be eating, why they won't get good clothes and so many more, they might just end up having a wrong idea about life. The bottom line is, as a spouse, both of you should having something fetching money, it shouldn't be only on one person because no one knows tomorrow. As someone would put it, try and have VEX MONEY, when you have vex money it would help avoid a lot of things in the home. If you know you are not financially stable and you are single parent, it only means you might end up not giving your children the best because at some point you would let some things go because you can't even provide for your children.
In summary, the best way to deal with being a single parent is to be the change you want to see, because your kids are watching you and they will mostly follow your lead so you have to set the pace and they will follow.
Thank you so much for reading, these are all my opinions, so feel free to leave your contribution. Until next time, stay AWESOME and JIGGY!!!