Have you ever met someone not educated, but really intelligent?
I knew a lot of smart people in my life, but the person who comes to my mind when I hear "smart guy" is actually my late uncle Al-marghany (المرغني) who's also one of the strongest people I knew and whom I remember to pray for the most after his passing.
My father has two brothers and multiple sisters. I had a closer relationship with my father's side of the family, and my two uncles took the rule of my father's role whenever he was absent. Uncle Mahammed is nice, hardworking, and somewhat timid. Uncle Al-marghany is a strong, no-nonsense type of guy. If you met him, he would've certainly left an impression!
As the oldest brother, Uncle Al-marghany had to grow up quickly to provide for the whole family after my grandmother died. That was in the 60s, so you can imagine how hard life was in Libya back then.
My uncle didn't study past primary school, (or was it middle school? Education was weird back then.) As a young man, he managed to provide for all of his brothers and unmarried sisters until each of them started their own family.
The Mentality of a Survivor
My uncle was smart. All of my father's side of the family had to build their wealth from nothing. He was the leader of the trio, (Him, father and my other uncle,) and taught him most of what they knew.
Al-marghany had a lot of tricks to get the best quality at the cheapest prices. Not just by haggling, but also by being at the right place at the right time. He also used to buy broken things in hopes he can fix them. His favorite things to buy were old Cassette Recorders and Water Boilers Tanks.
When he needed something fixed. He would fix it himself.
If he didn't know how to fix something, he would learn.
If he broke something while learning how to fix it, he would buy a broken one to learn.
He didn't have Youtube, (he died before looking things up online became a thing in Libya,) so he spent a lot of time learning on his own by testing what works and what doesn't.
Over many years he picked up on many things. How to fix Cars, Mechanical or Electronic machines, and House appliances. He learned things from Woodworkin, Plumbing, and even elctronic technology. All by trial and error. Without a teacher.
He also helped people without asking for compensation. (Most of the time, he did ask when something was too hard.)
By the time Uncle Al-marghany died. Every single household from my either side of our parents had at least one thing fixed by him that kept working for a while after his death. While I doubt they still have those 12 years later, it's a kind of legacy most people don't leave behind.
My Second Father
The memories I hold right now about my uncle are all events near the end of his life. He shared the second father role with my other uncle for me. He helped me a lot when I entered college, he used to take me in his car and wait for me until I finish the classes, even though I could've done that on my own.
Another strong memory I have of him is when Uncle Ali died. (That is, my father's uncle. Grandmother's brother.) He was too upset, weeping, despite all of us knowing that Uncle Ali was dying long before it happened.
I don't have a lot of early memories with my uncle Al-marghany despite him being there from the beginning, it makes me a bit sad when I think I might forget memories with my parents, siblings, and cousins one day too. I hope I never forget to pray for them.
I think you can tell a lot about a person from his/her parenting style. My father and Uncle Mahammed are seen as "too doting" by Uncle Al-marghany. He usually went for the "let them learn by themselves" approach.
If one of us tried to do something bad, or not do something good, Uncle will force us to start doing what he wants but won't tell us how to move forward or go back after putting us in the spot.
For example. He forced us to go to the Al-Furussiyah ("الفروسية" Translated as "Horse Track" but it's like a Gym.) He let us do whatever we wanted there most of the time, but we had no choice on whether to go or not.
When I snapped, he let me stay snapped. Even helped me "self-harm" because "you're not doing it correctly" compared to my father who would try to stop me.
He's the only one on my father's side of the adults in the family who loved the beach. He was the reason our families went multiple times to the beach every summer, and he sometimes took me and my brother with my cousins by himself, (the car was too small for all of us, so he had to be creative.)
After he died, we never went there, all of us cousins together, except maybe once or twice.
The Final Flicker
Uncle Al-marghany died in 2011, a month before the Civil War started.
His death was swift. He just felt dizzy one day while walking. Lost consciousness, and died before reaching the hospital. The sight of my father weeping as he told us the news is too painful to remember. My father says "It's like losing my right hand" whenever he remembers him.
He was walking beside my father one moment and two hours later he became a story... May God have Mercy on his soul. (رحمة الله عليه)
Now I think about it, there were many signs he was dying a few weeks before his death. He started giving us too much advice. He became softer and said things like "Do I have anything more left to do?" with a smile on his face.
For years before his death, said "It (life) doesn't have any taste anymore" but I figured he was talking about his smoking habits.
The cause of death was "atherosclerosis." He was smoking too much... When the only bad thing you can say about a person is "He used to Smoke" is admirable in my opinion. Strangely his death feels poetic in a way.
I remember my Uncle Al-Marghany fondly. He taught us many things, but he was irreplaceable. His legacy, especially in his children, speaks for him. My father only tried to emulate him after he lost him and now, my father knows how to fix things too.
I don't remember how felt about my Aunts, but he loved his brothers and it showed, he had to be strict as the older one.
My relationship with my brother is a lot like my two Uncles' relationship with each other but in reverse. I always make mistakes that my brother feels obligated to fix for me, despite me being the older one. Haha.
Life is hard... Sometimes, when I look at my father and Uncle Mahammed, I can see the stress of losing their "right hand" of a brother on their faces, but they fight for us, and I can't be more grateful for that.
This was written for #dreemportchallenge as a tribute to a lost loved one. I don't use photos for privacy reasons so I hope I did a good enough job describing my uncle with words alone.
I hope you guys enjoyed reading about him, and that you pray for him for Paradise in the hereafter. (إن شاء الله) The comment section is open for everything this post made you remember, and your stories with them.
* Post image is taken from Unsplash. Line dividers are drawn by me using iBisPaint.
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