Three pure fractals made in Apophysis 2.09, arranged together
“OK, but, how do you really feel, Khadijah – you handled the interview really well, but your husband is the big man on the Ventanan frontier and your uncle is swamping all the fleet attention – the fleet held you on that no-account assignment on Aqiuuibi for years, and then brought you back to get overshadowed again?”
This was a cadet mate of mine, still a lieutenant commander, forgetting she was talking with a captain. That by itself should have said something to her, but it didn't.
It also occurred to me that what envious people sometimes do is to try to make those they envy unhappy with their own situation so they will wreck it.
I had known this Academy mate for years and thought she was a friend … so I decided to set a test.
“Ever been to Snonnonbus 3 and seen the sea peacocks in their Aznerof region there?”
“Even though I'm stationed nearby, no.”
“Can you get some weekend leave? I'm headed that way and Rufus and Uncle Benjamin and I are going to do the sea tour and we can snag an extra ticket.”
“Must be nice, Khadijah.”
Yep. Straight up envy. Nonetheless, I had extended the offer and would not withdraw it, and she decided to come out for the weekend. I hoped for the best, but … .”
“Khadijah,” Uncle Benjamin said, “you cannot reason with envy. Once it has its hooks in someone, that someone is not a friend any longer.”
My husband was even more blunt.
“This is going to be an instant fail,” he said, “but, we'll make the best of it. If she acts out, though, I will eat the cost of the ticket and do what you won't: put Ms. Brywen in the wind, permanently.”
And this right here was the wisdom of the sea peacocks, so named because of their gaudy colors and their tentacles resembling feathers spreading beneath them as they shimmered and shined. No mated female of that species ever sought new nesting ground alone – her mate and her father flanked her in what to them were dangerous seas. It was a family affair, actually – generally, sea peacocks have many more male children than female, so for any one male to have a line that continued, he had to actually help his rare daughter's mate to protect her, steering her around warring males and dazzling and stinging other predators.
This was the secret of how the sea peacock had slowly spread its range the whole Aznerof Sea and the brackish waters of the river deltas that emptied into that sea: a father would live long enough to help escort all his daughters and their mates to a safe new nesting place, and then die and be fed to his now-secured grandchildren.
Now, with me being a human wife, it was not all that serious – I captained a whole starship when not on leave and did my solo daytrips and girls' trips when on leave as well as spending time with friends and relatives. But the idea was the same as it is about female sea peacocks. They are not as gaudy and blend into blue waters better, but see all those little eyes and baby tentacles hanging on there?
She is the legacy bearer for both mate and father – if she is the eldest or only daughter, her choice of nesting ground will determine the survival of their entire line.
It forever was a marvel to me, how many people knew my husband, co-founder of Kirk and Dixon Shipping, on the Ventanan frontier. It never was a marvel to me, for I had known him all my life, how you could not go anywhere that humans had been and not found someone who was not an admirer of my uncle, Admiral Benjamin Banneker.
I also never expected things to be other than what they were in terms of what always happened after the meetings and greetings:
“Have you met my [fill in wife or niece, depending on who was talking], Captain Khadijah Biles-Dixon? I'm so glad we're all getting to meet, because … .”
I made so many connections between the two of them it was frankly unfair, and upon considering this while waiting for Lt. Cmdr Brywen Guin to meet us, I realized why so many of my Academy mates and peers were indeed so jealous. They did not understand the wisdom of the sea peacocks, a non-competitive wisdom of legacy and love between males and females.
“Brywen – hey! I'm so glad you made it! I'm sure you haven't met my husband and uncle, but I'm so glad we're all getting to meet, because … .”
Uncle Benjamin's middle name may as well have been cordiality all the time anyway, and my husband was so cordial my old classmate had no clue that one wrong word to me and she would have been obliterated from our lives forever. Both men were “sea peacocking” in their beautiful way: defense through love, first.
Overall it was a lovely day … we got on board a submarine that carried us to a sea peacock breeding ground designed to get quiet to the exterior at least and let the beautiful sea peacocks do what they did around us … lots of flashing, gaudy males competing and fighting for mates and that made up the bulk of the attraction to the display, but I kept a count of purposeful trios shuttling out of the press, and older males returning to see after their remaining daughters. Their colors were more muted than the males of breeding age, but they still provided interest to the watchful eye, and the tour guides actually knew some individuals by sight.
“This one here – he must have had many daughters,” said one of the guides about one of the older males, “because we have seen him these last six weeks daily and sometimes twice a day, returning to help shuttle a younger daughter off to where the eldest one has picked a new spot.”
“He rather looks like an old, stubborn knight, unwilling to give up while there is yet a daughter left whose future he can change for the better,” Uncle Benjamin said, and I gave him a quick side hug at the thought as this particular older male hovered by our viewport, perhaps recognizing his analog in humanity in my uncle.
“Individuals who have a lot of daughters can live an extra 2-3 months,” the guide said, “so you are right. We actually call him 'The Old Knight,' and we will definitely miss him when his work is done.”
The Old Knight soon darted in among the flashing press of younger males, and shortly thereafter we saw him, his daughter, and his daughter's new mate heading out for the family's new spot.
Lt. Cmdr. Guin was getting the message, although she wasn't liking it … indeed, envy had sunk its hooks deep into my classmate. I had some time I took with her walking to a different area of the submarine while getting our food … I asked about her career and how things were going there, and they were going well … I wanted as a captain to give her so many insights and tips, but my old knight of an uncle had already warned me: she was no longer a friend.
It broke my heart to accept the facts but I saw the look of anger she had as she related a trio of sea peacocks above us to the way my husband and uncle had made all four of us a place to sit and relax while we ate, effortlessly moving people back and putting an extra cushion down for me between them. Not that Lt. Cmdr. Guin's seat was not comfortable by my uncle, and not like he as an old admiral was not cordial and also full of wisdom he could have shared … but he by his mere physical presence was blocking her off from my protected position, and she felt that.
How much Lt. Cmdr. Guin was upset by a day of first-class sights, sounds, food, and treatment can only be fully understood by anyone who has been in military service and realizes that even among classmates, should one get two steps of rank above another, a final goodbye and best wishes is rarely answered “Hmph!”
“I didn't catch that, Lieutenant Commander,” I said with a smile, pretending that my ears had deceived me … but the fact that I pulled rank alerted her that she had better take the second chance I was offering her.
“Excuse me, Captain – got something stuck in my throat – see you when we are next on leave,” she said, and then swiftly departed.
Brywen and I did not speak for five years after that … but then she called and apologized quite out of the blue, having grown and matured and realized what I was trying to show her through the sea peacocks.
“The sea is big and the galaxy is bigger … there's no need for all this petty envy,” she said. “I was just hurt because my father died and my relationship did not work out in that same year, and I didn't know how to process it and share. I apologize, Khadijah, and I wanted to invite you to my wedding. I finally did all my grief counseling and got serious about actually practicing my faith, and then met the right man for me!”
All's well that ends well, once the hooks of envy have been withdrawn, and the wounds have healed.