I arrived home late this evening after a long first day of the Winter college term to relax with my lover and a bottle of beer.

We sat down and began chatting as I swirled my beer to mix in the unfiltered sediment on the bottom of the amber bottle. I took a soothingly long pull as I drank down the cold apricot ale.

Moments later, my guts began to bubble indecisively.

I ran to the bathroom and sat upon my throne, propping my feet up with a squatty potty (gotta take care of them there bowels now, ya hear?). My innards continued rumbling and rolling around like an alligator who just caught its prey. Finally the moment I had been waiting for arrived. My bowels evacuated as though someone had pulled the fire alarm.

Relief swelled through my body as tension released and pain fluttered away.

There upon the throne I sat with a fat cat smile as I basked in the joy of leaving those feelings in the past when suddenly the serenity was shattered.

"ERRR ERRR ERRR,"

The carbon monoxide detector began shouting at the top of its lungs.

I called to my lover and she came and reset the confangled device. Peace once again settled in, but only for a brief period. Shortly after Audrey had gotten back to what she was doing, the detector once again started barking at us. I ended up shutting the door and turning on the fan, and the detector still went off! Audrey had to take the batteries out of the device in order for it to stop. Hours later, the batteries are back in and the detector has not gone off again.

I set off the carbon monoxide detector with my poop!

What a GLORIOUS achievement! This will be one for the grandkids.

LOVELAUGHTER&&XHAOS

PALPABLE POPE Ypyskypo Skwyrl, the Y'sas
Loser of Found Souls, Temple of Appled Thought
Erisian Ataxia Troupe

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Achieving a Level of Glory: How I Set Off the Carbon Monoxide Detector