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Have you ever heard the stereotype that Chinese girls are materialistic? Maybe you have or maybe you have not. One complaint you may hear from Chinese men or Expats in China is that there are so many gold diggers that only want money and material possessions. There have been instances where a Chinese girl has dumped her boyfriend because he only rents an apartment or soon to be married couples end up quarreling because the bride wants hundreds of thousands of dollars as a dowry.
Is this the norm though?
I've been residing in China for 3.5 years so far so what I can do is share my experiences with Chinese girls as well as inform you of my opinion on why you might attract a gold digger.
I've made so many awesome friends and dated a handful of girls in China. I've lived a really good life over here. This country and my lifestyle are loaded with conveniences and the opportunity to live almost stress free.
Out of all of the girls I have met and dated in China, how many of them do I think were gold diggers? I'd say zero.
Meeting women here has been a really positive experience. I have never met a girl that expected me to pay for our date or buy her things. I would only buy things for her if I wanted to and they are always grateful for that. In fact, all the girls I have met would insist on paying for me! Many of my female friends try to pay the restaurant bill, Uber and movie tickets on their own and never demand that I pay for any of it. Of course, being the gentleman I am, I try to pay as much as I can. We always seem to have a mutual understanding of who pays. I'd say it goes about 50-50.
This has been my experience for every girl I have met in China since I landed.
So in my experience, I do not think Chinese girls are typically gold diggers.
But why do some people face this issue. Sure, gold diggers do exist and you might even meet one. But I'd like to show you how gold diggers may be a messenger that reflects unfinished business with our own personal issues.
Life as a Student
Children in China are raised to be super competitive when it comes to education. From a young age, parents enroll their children into after-school study classes (as if their regular school isn't enough) to prepare for the Gao Kao: their university entrance exam. The Gao Kao is similar to the SAT in the USA but 100x more competitive and stressful. Students in their final year rarely get a day off from school and the whole year is focused on nothing but studying for this test. You can't expect them to really learn anything, they are just creating strategies to do well on a test that determines their future and honour their family.
As a result, many Chinese students don't really have a high self esteem. They are constantly forced to study and learn things they don't like and the parents put a lot of pressure on them. I think that carries over to their dating life. I see a lot of Chinese men constantly sending messages to their girlfriend and wanting to know what they are doing all the time. It comes off as really needy and clingy. If a Chinese man were to become financially successful, he will still have to deal with his self-worth issues. It seems to me that men may attract gold diggers for this very reason. If you don't feel you have any intrinsic value, then the gold digger can be a reflection of how you only see yourself as worthy because of your accolades. It could be your financial wealth, fame or nationality. Basically, a gold digger only values you for something superficial because they don't see the intrinsic value in you. If men are not comfortable with themselves and their abilities, then it invites others to come and use them for whatever they want.
I have been meditating for years, uncovering whatever nasty stuff was buried in my subconscious. I think it has helped a lot in my attitude towards life and makes me incompatible with a gold digger. I am able to honour my strengths and weaknesses and am becoming more comfortable with myself. I don't try to impress people or put on a facade for people to like me. I think a lot of people like me, but not a lot of people get along with me for a long time because I am really quiet and don't try to act enthusiastic. I think a gold digger feeds off of people trying to hide their insecurities, while I am getting better at revealing them. Many expats in China also try to act like a big shot to try and score with one of the locals. If a girl can sense this, she can take advantage of him and make him look like a dufus.
That's my take on it. If you are comfortable with yourself, I don't think you will have major issues with gold diggers in China. Chinese girls are one of the highest quality girls I have met. Very caring and loyal.
Hope you enjoyed this post!
Thanks for reading & watching!
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