I always joke that caring too much is my biggest weakness. While I have never actually considered caring as much as I do as a bad thing ... sometimes I’m not so sure.

The truth is I don’t do anything half ass; I work hard, love hard and never give anything less than 100%. But in a world where most people do the absolute bare minimum in everything they do..

Is giving too much of yourself unhealthy?

I have had this thought on my mind lately. Then, at the request of someone trying to figure me out, I recently took a personality test.. yeah, I know.. but crazy enough it was the first one that actually made sense. I’m a bit of a walking contradiction.. and the couple personality tests that I have taken in my life were hilariously incorrect.


So when the results pegged me as a Mediator and the first line was;

Mediator personalities are true idealists, always looking for the hint of good in even the worst of people and events, searching for ways to make things better.

👀 I took notice.. because, yes.. I totally do that. Did I mention it quoted J.R.R. Tolkien too? I mean seriously... how could it figure all that out from a couple questions?! Of the handful of people that I actually know and who also took the test, most were completely different and quite fitting.. only one other person had the same results as me.. and we won’t go into that because it’s more confusing then helpful honestly.

So what is the point of all this?

Well, while I could probably make a whole post on the results.. and who knows I might, there was one specific area that resonated with me and the way I had been feeling lately;

Mediators will focus their attention on just a few people, a single worthy cause – spread too thinly, they’ll run out of energy, and even become dejected and overwhelmed by all the bad in the world that they can’t fix.

I can’t fix everything.


I have a hard time saying no.. well, let me clarify that; I can say no immediately if something goes against my principles or ideals, don’t even have to think about it. In fact, I’ve turned down many great opportunities because there was something about it, or someone behind it, I just couldn’t support for one reason or another. But, when it’s something that I think is good.. I have a hard time saying no. And leaves me struggling with not being able to fix everything.

I also find myself stepping in to take care of things, well.. because no one else is.

I’m not a bystander, I’m a doer.

Which means I normally have entirely too much on my plate and most of the time I’m doing most of the work. Which leaves me feeling.. yeah you guessed it,


spread too thinly, overwhelmed... and discouraged.


So, why not choose the easy road? The one that most others seem to pick? You know the one that gets them public acknowledgement, money in their pockets.. and oh yeah, spare time to do what they want.. and somehow still credit for doing all these good things. 🤔


Who knows, maybe I’m too stubborn to take the easy road, my ideals are too high to be fake, or I’m just too all or nothing, to not give my all to something. Maybe I’m just not cut out for some things...

Mediators are led by the purity of their intent, not rewards and punishments

sigh... +and there lies my issue here on Steem*, a platform that is centered around rewards and not standing up for things out of fear of punishment. I really suck at Steem.

Punishment... hmm, yeah I just stand up for what I believe in, and that’s never gonna change. Flag away! And what about rewards? Those only happen when you post right? Or take a paid position?


So what happens when you work so much for free behind the scenes (because you care) that you don’t even have time to post?

What happens when you put your heart and soul into a project just to see no one else willing to do the same?

Or when someone who is suppose to be a representative of the hard work you have done turns out to only be concerned with lining their own pockets?


What happens then? Well for most probably nothing right? What’s the big deal after all.. it’s just a game? Well, not for someone who doesn’t see it as one...

It leaves us feeling stretched too thin, discouraged and broken

I know I’m not the only one.. and here in lies why I’m writing this post. I know there are other individuals, like myself, giving their all and somehow still feeling frustrated because they just can’t fix it all... who bust their ass without even so much of a thank you, you are so appreciated. Who feel like giving up because it all seems pointless anyways.... but guess what?

We don’t give up

Nope, we just don’t have it in us to quit. When everything has gone to shit and everyone has walked away... we will be still here when the dust settles.


So what can we do?


Take a step back and refocus.

Where is your passion? In what projects do you have other individuals willing to work beside you? Where are you appreciated? What should you be ok to walk away from?


and here is a hard one for people like us..

What is best for your future?

Yeah, you.. you know the one who you always put last? It’s time for you to think about that person.. because at some point, you have to take care of yourself.. and that is ok.


Actually, it’s more than ok.. it’s necessary for survival.


It doesn’t mean you can’t help people, you will always help other people.. it’s who you are.. but you have to make yourself a priority as well, or you will never get out alive.


The truth of the matter is, everyone else is putting themselves first.. and if you don’t even have yourself on your list of priorities, you won’t last long enough to help anyone else anyways.


So, don’t lose faith.. don’t lose your kindness.. keep being you. But take a few minutes a week to refocus and make sure you haven’t left yourself out of the equation.. make sure someone is putting you and your needs first, and the only one who is truly going to do that is ...you.

We have a long road ahead of us here on this platform and if we want it to be successful, we are going to need you, the passionate ones here with us. We need you to not spread yourself too thin, not get discouraged, and most importantly not quit. Make sure you are taking care of yourself so you can do just that.

To the doers.. the behind the scenes people on this platform, busting ass to make sure this place keeps being the amazing place it is, with not much to show for it;

I see you.. and I appreciate you.

We are all in this together, and I’ll be here when the dust settles.. and I know you will be too.

While they may be perceived as calm, reserved, or even shy, Mediators have an inner flame and passion that can truly shine

yep that’s me...

_{”Sunshine mixed with a little bit of hurricane”}

Much Love,

Justine