Seems like I have been ON & OFF Steemit a couple times now.
After my first break from Steemit, I joined back couple months later . The second time, the reasons were out of my control.
It all started with Bronchitis.
Out of nowhere, I got bad cough one day which later on turned into Bronchitis. Being a very health conscious person, Bronchitis took hold of my mental strength too with my physical strength. It took me more than a month to recover from it. All this while, I was more worried about my new job at that time. I was totally out of mental peace and kept questioning 'Why is this happening with me?'
During that time, things just started looking perfect again in my life after a long time but Bronchitis came in my way. I was condemning this disease all day long until I recovered.
My condition got better after a month's time and I was able to go back to office. Suddenly I started having heart burn. I still remember the first night I felt the pain and I got scared as if I am going to have a heart attack tonight. With this fear, I flew back home next day. Gradually, the pain started increasing and I ended up at a Chest Specialist Clinic. It was GERD. The doctor gave me medicine and I started feeling better, but when I left the dose after a week, the pain came back.
Then suddenly my brother got engaged and the whole shift of my family went from my bad health to my Brother's wedding. I was in agony, because I did not want to spoil the happy time of my Brother's life. So I kept quiet about my heart ache for a month or so while my family thought I am OK.
While my Brother's wedding shopping and preparations were going on, I was trying to keep up with my bad health, my job and the happiness of my Family with very low self confidence and drained mental energy.
I started hitting the Internet for Heartburn issues and was trying various Lifestyle changes to help it. I would keep searching all acidic foods, making a list and try my best to avoid them. Then one particular day, it hit my mind rather than cutting out acidic food, I should add something strongly Alkaline in my diet. I search on google "The most alkaline diet",picture of a Salad showed up. I prepared myself the finest Salad I could, I was so desperate to find a solution and did not want to go back to doctor and get addicted to ant-acid pills.
It was as if the Lord came down to help me. After suffering for about 45 days from that pain, I did not feel it the first time for that day when I ate salad. I felt motivated and saw some hope.
Gradually one super green diet a day killed my Gerd Pain and I am still continuing with this lifestyle.
Christmas came.
My brother got married, I survived Bronchitis & Gerd and started feeling better again with the thought that 'New year is coming, I will start fresh with every aspect of my life.'
I met my friends on Christmas and that night I saw an ugly weird patch on my stomach all of a sudden. Then next morning I had those patches on my arm too. It was breakout of a new skin disease. Extremely Worried, I immediately went to the doctor that noon and the doctor said the patches will first show up everywhere on your body and would go away in a month's time. Its not contagious and won't show up on your face, hands and feet. I did not lose it this time. I played strong because I already fought two diseases, my brother marriage was off my happy-worry list and with this skin disease I could still go to office.
Then just after a few days, night of 4th January - I snapped my neck badly in sleep which resulted in Neck Spondylitis. I could not move at all, I was lifted out of bed that morning.
There, I lost it all. I have never felt that way. I imagined myself being paralyzed for the rest of my life and was in deep agony. I started questioning everything. I questioned the place I was living at, the food I was eating, whether it has to do something with onset of these health issues. I started condemning my new workplace as well because it all started when I joined it.
Was someone doing black magic?
Questioned God.
Questioned my Stars.
Hated myself.
Cried.
I could not hold my cellphone. I could not sit more than 30 minutes. I could not watch TV, could not work. I would wake up every morning, try to survive the day doing nothing.
It went on for 28 days.
Wake up, eat, breathe, sleep.
My mind wandered everywhere it could. It was so hard to pass the day idle - no gadget use, no tv, precious time of a goal oriented girl passing by just like that. My mind played with me until the day I realized I need to fight back, I can't just give up on my life. I started building my strength, feeling hopeful, tried to be cheerful.
All the good thoughts helped. I ate good food, mixed up with people, started feeling hopeful. I went back to work again and the good part is 'They did not kick me out' because I have been on OFF time only since I joined them. Everything started getting better.
My skin patches started healing. I was able to sit for 2 hours straight. I still had my job. My family and boyfriend equally loved me.
That was it. I knew I have to WIN.
I am here today writing this article, feeling fortunate that I am ok because I decided to be. Thanks to God, His Power.
Although there are still issues with my neck, I cannot use phone for longer duration and I need to keep moving. But I am happy and grateful that I am alive.
All this while, I have changed a lot. The only lesson I took out of it is 'HOLD ON,GOD is bigger than your problems. Everything is a test of your strength.'