This morning I received an email from my Golf instructor asking me would I do him a favour. It was a bit weird as he doesn't email me much and he's loaded so he needs little favours.
I danced with glee at the thought of a potential scammer. So I decided to play along. I love a good conversation with a scam artist. I facebooked the real pro to let him know he was hacked and then I continued to play along with this guy to see what he wanted. Might make a good comedy openmic or a good @lucylin Hitler clip.
So he wants to buy an itunes voucher for his darling niece. David is so nice . So so nice. And he wants me to buy it for him and send on the details. I can get it from any store around me it says. Well then David why didn't you fecking get one yourself. Why are you asking your inferior golf student to do your bidding. Is Soonest even a word How as ever I respond like the good golf student I am.
The plot thickens. I ask him should I drop it out to him at the golf club. The reply was that he wanted 2 x €100 itunes vouchers. Not 1 but 2 no doubt. This guy is getting greedy. His niece is spoiled bloody rotten!!€200 quid. So this guy is expecting me to go shopping for 200 euro worth of itunes vouchers. But I pretend to do as he says. I don't think he understood me in my reply telling him to drop them out to him. So I ask again.....
David is so considerate. I don't need to drop the vouchers to the house. All I need to do is scratch the cards and send on the serial number by mail. And thats €200 quid in the hands of a scam artist. Whoooshh.
So our scammer now tells me to scratch the surface of the itunes card I pretend to have. Take a photo of the number and send to him. He thinks he is in now. He has reeled me in and now I have his attention. I leave the reply for a few minutes to make him stew and waste his time. I send a No Bother message.
He's is nearing the end. €200 quid cash coming his way. I give a reply that I am sending the vouchers.
So I look in my photos for something to send. Hmmmmm. I look through my group chat because I get awful photos off my friends. Really bad ones. A couple of weeks ago a friend text me asking me permission to give Barry my number.
Who the fuck is Barry? I replied.
You know Barry!
No I don't but if he wants to connect me then he can text me
The next minute the phone beeped and I saw Barry.
Barry was a fairly well endowed man so I may as well send our scammer Barry rather than a €200 euro itunes voucher. Now I don't want to get flagged for a NSFW so I will only screenshot the top half of the photo I sent our scammer. Lets just say Barry has 3 legs.
So I had a great giggle to myself after I sent the scam artist Barry. It just love leading the old scammers on. Let's hope the smile doesn't get wiped off my face tomorrow if the guy empties my bank account.