So the idea was that I was going to have one of my relatively rare "days off," today.
As part of that, I had ambitions of spending some time with my blog here... catching up and doing some writing, and such.
And then... "the usual thing" happened.
Tall trees, Big Sur, California
You see, I've been monitoring my activity for some time, and here's the weird thing: Whenever I have a so-called "day off," I typically end up writing zero of maybe one blog post... and spending no time at all doing this. On the other hand, when I am "working" I typically end up writing a couple of posts and leaving a bunch of comments...
Chronic Procrastination?
Sometimes, I'm inclined to think that blogging is actually just a giant procrastination initiative for me. I blog really well when I am supposed to be working, but when I actually have time on my hands... I end up going off and doing other stuff. Seems a bit counterintuitive, but it's as good an explanation as any.
Here's another "trend:" Days off are typically marked by late night "Ulogs" or "Freewrites," on those days that I actually manage to get something out.
Today really wasn't one of those days where I just ended up sitting down and letting my brain go slack, however. Those days are very rare around here!
But somehow, time just got away from me... and I ended up doing a lot of work, the very same work I tend to push aside to I can write blog posts... on other days of the week.
Grape Hyacinths... signs of spring
Oppositional Defiance Disorder?
That's actually a thing, according to psychologists. Maybe that's my problem... a passive-aggressive refusal to do with my days what I am supposed to be doing with those days.
Meh... probably not.
I have just always been shitty at being "creative on demand." And that's somewhat what happens when I have a "scheduled" day off... suddenly I have this specific time set aside, and I am not just grabbing a few moments to jot down some notes that I can then polish up between client interactions, or eBay listings.
It's probably one of the reasons I never really "made it," as a writer. Didn't have the discipline to sit down and write on a schedule...
A variety of St. John's Wort...
It's Just not FUN, Anymore!
I always had an "agreement" with myself that I just wanted to keep writing for as long as I felt I was enjoying myself and having fun with it.
Although I stuck with it for a few years, I actually sucked at being a technical writer because it... kinda bored me. In many ways, it felt like I was selling out. I had always wanted to become "a writer," and somehow I sold myself on the idea that technical writing was still "writing," even though I was basically writing someone else's ideas, to their specifications.
I like to say that I quite that field because I found myself competing with people in Southwest Asia who had Masters Degrees in English from US universities... and so my pay rate was decimated... but the truth is that I was getting really bored, and was looking for pretty much any viable excuse to get out. The outsourcing bit was basically just a piece of fortuitous timing...
The thing is, though, that I am having fun here in SteemLand... doing what I really enjoy doing which is writing various forms of free-form "commentary" on the world, current events and the human condition. So, I reckon I'll be doing this for a while, yet.
In the meantime, I'm still trying to figure out this new split of our blogs and our wallets... I understand the security concerns, but this doesn't seem like a way to make this place any more intuitive and easy to use.
Oh, well.
Hope you are all having a great day, and thanks for reading!
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Created at 190403 01:02 PST
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