This video is for anyone who has ever felt jealous of my looks when seeing my Old Hollywood inspired self portraits. I know it’s easy to look at someone on the internet and think it’s so unfair that they look amazing and their life is perfect, even when you know it is not reality. When you put the perfect, glossed and crafted version of yourself on the internet on a regular basis, some might actually think it is the real you.
I’m taking off all the glamour, post Fuck It! -shoot, in this video with very bad lighting, a great contrast to what you see in my pictures; a made up version of me in good light, a carefully composed pose and Photoshop to top it off. I suffer from acne, which is my biggest insecurity, but I feel a bit more confident showing you that now because it is actually getting better, even though it might not look it here. It’s a long process and I will be left with scars, but it is what it is, I’m dealing with it.
I must admit, it is really addicting to doll myself up to this gorgeous character and one has to be careful not to get too used to it. If you do it too often, the real you will feel very dull and depressing. Sure I would love to look like an Old Hollywood film star every day, there is great power in that, but it’s an unattainable dream.
It is an art form, it is an illusion, I want you to know that, and I want to remember it myself too. I ain’t that special.
ps. The music is from bensound.com
pps. My bathroom lighting is tricky for the iPhone so the white balance keeps flickering really annoyingly, sorry about that.
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