This musing about yoga is an extension of a comment I wrote to @yinyangmichael, who asked us to share one of our yoga poses in his post last week.
It's a bit of a big deal, because I don't like photos of me, let alone in yoga poses! As we live in a world of yoga supermodels busting incredible shapes on instagram (many of which I can't do, and don't aspire to do, or can't do because my bones just aren't lined up that way) it's hard not to compare myself to them, and worry about what people think of me.
So this pose really is just a dialogue with myself about that - partly self acceptance, and partly a reminder that I'm not doing yoga for the looks or the appearances or anyone else, I'm doing it for me - because it makes me a better person, more calm and centred, more aware and more compassionate. I truly think everyone should have access to this wonderful practice - even if you think you're too old, too fat, too out of shape, too weak or inflexible - that's not the point. As long as you can breathe, you can do yoga. It's a practice that is life changing.
As much as I would have loved to have taken a perfect shot on a tropical beach somewhere or under a waterfall, I'm in my hotel room in Ubud and it's pouring outside, plus, I feel like a dick posing in public places, so even doing this is a big barrier buster for me. Yoga is a very internal practice for me - some describe it as the interiorisation of awareness so when I'm properly doing yoga, I'm not thinking of how I look on the outside, which is super refreshing for me in this judgemental world and with my comparing, discriminating monkey mind that won't shut it's chatter.
Trikonasana is an old favourite of mine - I've been doing this pose since I first started yoga when I was 16 years old - I won't tell you how old I am, but it is over twenty years ago, and that's some time indeed.
I love this pose as the 'exact' alignment is so debated - there's a silly old instruction that says that your hips should be as if between two panes of glass. In Iyengar classes back in the day we'd practice against a wall. Perfect alignment.
Since then I've learnt that there is NO real alignment perfection and there's no perfect pose. Whatever works for you and doesn't hurt you is how it's meant to be.
And if I'm breathing, I'm doing it.
I love the connection between heaven and earth here - the top hand reaches skyward, the bottom grounds, energy circling. My feet are diaphragms against the earth. My hips feel great in this pose and as long as I can breathe I can hold it forever. It's such a classic pose, a shape I can fit into no matter how I'm feeling and get something out of it - just challenging enough, and not too challenging. Sthira, sukham asanam.
The other thing I adore about yoga is that I'm always learning about this tradition as well as my own self and my body, it's limits, weaknesses, strengths. I found a beautiful instruction for teaching this - 'top ribs stretch toward the fingertips' which helped me realise what my side waist is doing, and that was revelatory, even though I'd been practicing the pose for years.
Then, this week I've been pushing my breath to it's limits as I was freediving - really exploring the thoracic cavity and the internal shape or asana of the lungs, the very real diaphragm movement as it drops down to make more breath so you can stay under water for longer. Days of that stretched me in ways I HAVE NEVER STRETCHED BEFORE - I didnt even realise I had that capability! I had to push through a lot of fear to get there and drew on all my yoga skills to do it.
Then, dropping into this familiar shape today I was pretty floored by how my ribs moved in a way they've NEVER moved before in this shape!! Totally blew me away. All that work on those secondary breathing muscles totally altered things!! Couldn't believe it. Goes to show how extraordinary the body is, how extraordinary this practice is.
While I'm gushing about yoga, I may as well drop in my nemesis at the moment - crescent lunge.
Again, sorry about the picture. I dont have a photographer and the phone is on my bed as I shout 'smile' for the auto to go off.
Crescent lunge isn't a familiar shape to me, and I only really started really feeling into this pose when I started full on vinyasa work a few years ago. I find the alignment of everything really difficult, and rising up to this from floor level takes all my concentration - thighs move together, feet plant to the ground - get your foundation right, don't wobble - sink down into the pelvis, use it as earth and then rise up ribs away from hipbones, belly draws in and up, chest opens - and my back calf screams at me too - I think I'm just yet to truly embody this pose so I'm working on it rather than avoiding it as I know it's maing me stronger and it's there for a reason, you know? Like all of this practice. Keep practicing. Keep practicing. Keep practicing.
Uttanasana (forward fold) is one of my other favourites right now. It's so basic in its presentation but it's the one people say 'ah, i can't even touch my toes when I do that' or 'my hamstrings are too tight' but it's not about that at all - in fact, it's better to bend the knees and place the belly on the thighs so your spine elongates from tailbone to the crown of the head. This pose always helps me drop in to how I'm feeling in a similiar way to balasana (child's pose) as it's downward facing and pulls me away from the external.
Right back into that 'interiorisation of awareness'.
I've also been reading this great book about yoga and the subtle body, and it's teaching me all sorts of things about anatomy and body processes as well as the symbolic associations that yoga has traditionally brought to body and mind and spirit understanding. The author writes that there are three heels in the body used as foundations for support - the heel of the foot, the sitbones (heels of the pelvis) and the heel of the cranium (if you are lying on your back and turn your head from side to side, this is the bit that makes contact with the earth). So I'm playing around with my relationship with gravity in this pose and where these heels are and what they do and in what direction they'd be going in if, say, the earth was against my hamstrings - which it would be if I was in a seated forward fold, or paschimottanasana. In uttasana this week then I'm feeling into my heels onto the ground, my sitbones moving skyward and the base of my cranium - three heels. It's just a different way of thinking and feeling into the shape - and the breath, of course, because as Iyengar says, all of these asana are just different ways to feel the breath - and thus the spirit - in the body.
Damn I adore this practice. Again I'm no yoga model. Your perfect pose isn't my perfect pose. I'm not lithe and lean in tiny shorts under a waterfall. But damn I feel good doing yoga - it's with me for life.
Namaste!! xx
Please excuse any formatting issues with this post - I'm on the road and it's not easy to do on my phone!
https://gateway.ipfs.io/ipfs/QmU9f4FK9j91cnUGYk9hnMXuYdAFcnF6ekkpXZ5DfiByfG
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