The second phase of the entire process for the work was to make the sketch and I knew what it was about, not how to put it visually, I made many scratches on a sheet trying to discover what to do as a final sketch, until I knew what I wanted to do.
Here is the sketch…Yes, it's a broken mirror mirror with many pieces of my face and other elements that felt that they could contribute something interesting to the work.
Quick,what I want to refer to with the sketch in my continuous states of confusion, insecurity and anger, as alsothe sadness I feel a lot of the time, I wanted it to be about a broken mirror because I felt (or feel) like this, broken, I did not feel unified in a single flat sheet, I felt so broken as to hurt those who touched me or when I did it myself. I placed many eyes so that the person who saw the work had the sensation of being observed, I wanted to highlight my dark circles almost black as a sign to a tired state, my mouth open as if screaming represents my desire to scream for help, I also drew as in bras in favor of showing my side, say, "sexy" because I felt that a part that kept me quiet in a certain way. But one thing that I liked the most about everything I put in that sketch was that it was drawn like a piece of paper that said “Take me as your mirror, not as your enemy. I am a Goddess. I am my Devil”.
To make the sketch I had the idea to take pictures and then draw them but as an old friend from beyond the recesses of my mind and my childhood, I remembered the artist who inspired me to learn to paint, Frida Kahlo, I remembered that she painted herself in a mirror and from there everything started, that I did and I understood what she felt, it is hard, it is very hard to look so long in the mirror.
I've been since I can remember, I've rejected the fact that I have to see myself in the mirror, I'm like a stranger who appears in that piece of glass that reflects and I have to believe that it's me, that face represents me, in that moment where I had to stand in front of the mirror to draw and color, I felt embarrassed at first, it seemed embarrassing to be drawing, then go on to make fun of me, until I started to say things for nothing kind and then I broke down crying, for me it was hard to have to see me so long and face that that stranger I saw there, it was me and I I was drawing. And without realizing it, I was my own work of art.
For the next part, I will show the drawings that I made in my blog for the investigation of how to do the work, as well as my self-research, all the things I draw to understand to do it in a good way.