Self-centeredness is often used as an insult when some individuals could actually use more of it
Egotistically, narcissistic, self-absorbed. These are all insults thrown around at individuals who spend too much time focused on themselves as if they are the center of the universe.
Indeed, there are plenty of people who could use a nice dose of humility to be brought back down to reality, in that there actually are other humans that exist on planet earth. Certainly, the rise of social media and our culture-at-large encourages vanity and superficial attributes above substantive characteristics.
But that doesn't mean one should completely neglect themselves either
As a former mental health worker, I interacted with many people who were utterly devoted to their friends, family, and community, yet completely disregarded themselves in the process. The idea of being a martyr can be quite alluring to someone who doesn't care to work on themselves.
Hey, if you're not going to progress as a person, you might as well get the egotistical glory of having given it all for everyone else in your life. Ironically, this is actually a sophisticated trick of the ego. You believe you're such a noble, virtuous person to have sacrificed everything in your life to help others, yet you've done so at a great detriment to yourself.
You can witness this effect in dysfunctional relationships, where one party is completely dedicated to a person that isn't dedicated to helping themselves. The situation drags on far too long, the toxicity growing with each successive conflict. The self-imposed martyr simultaneously plays the savior and the victim, all while ignoring what's best for them and empowering the helplessness of the other person.
It's absolute madness, yet the mind finds a way to wrap it up in some distorted hero story that convinces the martyr that this is their purpose, that they are only there to serve others and any energy spent on themselves is a waste.
This is fatally flawed
Placing others ahead of our own needs 100% of the time inevitably backfires. It leaves us drained, it disempowers us, and it ultimately eats away at the part of us that yearns for personal development.
In the race to be the noblest and most selfless person in the world, these individuals lose the ability to fully help those they spend all of their energy trying to save. If you never work on yourself, your ability to help others is significantly reduced. Providing useful nuggets of truth requires discovering those within yourself.
Going inward and peeling back the layers of one's self is critical to being able to give back to the external world. Of course, it is good to balance this inward reflection with outward expressions of gratitude and goodwill for others. A person shouldn't exclusively focus on themselves, as the learning process eventually requires sharing and teaching as the final step.
In the drive to become better people, we must keep in mind the importance of positive self-work as an essential component in the equation.
All uncredited pictures from pixabay.com or my personal account
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