Nothing in my life was quite compareable to the moment when I found out how to forgive. Ten years I have been searching for answers in therapy, science books and religious scriptures … but I wouldn't find release. Today, I'm eventually another human, now that I found out how to get rid of my hurt feelings from the past. Have you also been hurt and lost your trust in humanity? Let me tell you what helped me overcoming anger, vindictivness, anxiety and rage. Or do you have a story about how you learned forgiveness? Then I am looking forward to read about your own stories under the tag #breakthrough. If you do, please let me know in the comments.
My life has been quite complicated! 2013 I summarized my adventures in a book I would never publish like that again, today. For in 2013, five years after the incidents I was still full of anger and revengefulness. The book was about how my mother kidnapped my daughter and held her hostage for almost two years. It was also about the story of my sister and the father of my daughter becoming a couple shortly before the abduction took place and other catastrophes that caused lots of chaos and panic in my first life. No, it has never been boring and I had to take a lot before I finally found out how to let go of everything I have been taking in before. Six years I was searching for revenge, four years I was looking for forgiveness, guided by a big error in reasoning.
no apologies needed – to forGIVE is active
What was wrong about my thinking? The expectations. I expected apologies and reparation. Phrases I kept repeating in my head and to others troughout the years were: "How can I forgive what noone ever asked for being forgiven? How can I pardon something that people don't even know they did wrong?" I always faced lots of consent from people I have spoken to. It seems everyone is quite familiar with this passive attitude towards reconciliation. We think about it in shemes of offenders and victims. If an offender hurts a victim he has to atone for it. But forgiveness isn't about the offender and what he did at all. To for-give is active, the term giving is the biggest part of it. If you receive injury you have to give something. Noone else is acting but the person injured.
I live my life and am responsible for how I feel and what I achieve. If I refuse someone forgiveness, I actually withdraw myself from absolution. I'll be caring those feelings with me. I will be confronted with distrust and anxieties, I will be reminded about my bad memories constantly for not letting them go.
In my case it was yoga and meditation that brought me to my understanding. Most of all meditations for healing your heart chakra.
your ♥ is a data bank – everything gets stored
Spirit Science 15 ~ Power of the Heart
All your emotional experiences are written down in your body and your heart is like a big emotional data bank. Every feeling you haven't dealt with, becomes a blockade somewhere in your body and causes quite some stress for your heart, soul, mind and all of your other organs. Noone else will struggle with your feelings besides yourself. Thus, if you forgive someone, you are doing it for yourself. You forgive to heal and to defragment your database and change your own emotions.
Get active. Don't let anybody be a bruise on your heart. Forgive yourself and everybody else. Free yourself from guilt and the feeling of lack. Don't expect anyone else to make up for something. Let go …
