It usually happens when we are angry. It often happens when we feel betrayed. It takes place when we think we’ve been driven to the edge of barely bearable experiences - and there’s someone specific, someone loved and trusted (?) to blame.
“You aren’t open with me, so I am going to hide from you, too!”
“You’ve done x, y, z, so I’m going to do double of all that!”
“You think you can behave so and so? Well, let me show you what I can do in return.”
And it can go on, and on, and on until things escalate to heights of no return. Sometimes so much that people barely stop one step away from completely destroying each other’s and their own minds, souls, and even physical bodies.
Should it then be an eye for an eye? Honestly, after being through lots of great experiences AND through some truly hellish crap, I can say - no.
It should never be an eye for an eye with the purpose to get revenge, and it is so simply because people are ALREADY being punished for their mistakes and weaknesses, even if they don’t realize it yet.
It doesn’t mean you have to turn your other cheek or to just accept being abused and mistreated either. It’s not about playing a victim or being an all-forgiving saint. It’s just that if a person does something crappy, they are already hurt. They are already in pain, they are already unwell - otherwise why would they do all the “bad” things they do?
Happy people don’t do crappy things. Satisfied people don’t go around hurting others. Healthy, psychologically stable people don’t have the need to challenge, or trick, or distrust. If someone does all that, taking revenge on them is like beating an already hurt person with a stick.
Now the question is - do you love that “sick” person enough to stay with them and help them heal? Or maybe it’s safer and healthier for both to walk away? Maybe there are ways to figure it all out, to connect, to find another path? I don’t know. Every case and every person is too special to generalize.
And if it’s not them, if it’s us? If we are able to notice that it’s us who are being cursed and blamed for something horrid we have done... It’s also a good time to ask yourself:
Am I happy? Am I in trouble? What makes me angry, sad, dissatisfied and distrustful, and how did it start? Why am I perceived as a monster by others? Have I done monstrous things, or is it them who are mistaken in their subjective judgements?
And every question will lead to more and more questions, and supposedly, if one thinks hard enough... well, anyway. No eyes taken out, folks. Unless we are at war or in blood feuds. And even then )) There were cases when enemies shared a peace cup of wine. There were cases when long-term warriors of opposite sides became brothers.
Always give them another chance. Always give another chance to yourself. So many things die every day - I mean literally as well as metaphorically, if you like. Those things and moments are precious, and they are fleeting.
People themselves are fragile, both physically and mentally. I have learned that some things we do to each other are unfixable; they leave never healing wounds and ugly scars. And the ridiculous thing is that usually they are made for nothing.