How to convince children

Children develop very early on their own and personality-based opinions on things. They are needs-oriented and therefore want to design things the way they suit them best. If parents want to enforce certain things, this often meets with resistance.

Of course, as an adult you are ultimately on the longer lever and can enforce his will through rules and sanctions. Educationally effective and, ultimately, more harmonious is when children obey by conviction and not out of fear of punishment or by blundering on parental authority. However, it makes the effort and you have to go into the thoughts and feelings of the child.

Children think differently

The brains of children work differently than those of adults. While we know about certain problems - for example mathematical tasks - already prefabricated and partly memorized solutions, we have learned this for years in maths lessons, children intuitively approach a problem and develop their own solutions. Their brains are not yet preformed - the large number of synapses in the brain allow a variety of possibilities. Many of them are incomprehensible to us adults, even appear illogical - but lead to the right solution.

If one really wants to convince a child of something, it is important to immerse oneself in the childish world of ideas and to explain things in such a way that they are comprehensible to the child.

Do convincing

The points in which children have different views from their parents are often the same. It's about eating healthy, brushing your teeth, sunscreen, washing your hair, etc. In any case, it's important to find the point where a child can imagine something. When brushing your teeth, this can be the prospect of a toothache, while creaming with sunscreen, the prospect of the threatening and painful sunburn. These are very direct methods that pose a risk that the child will eventually act out of fear rather than conviction. Because, of course, scary stories of fancy teeth and threatening painful visits to the dentist cause the child to accept the lesser evil.

In "real" persuasion work, a child realizes that a certain behavior brings benefits to him - in children, however, this "benefit" must neither be too abstract nor too far in the future. So if you tell your child that they have to brush their teeth, because otherwise they will have their teeth broken off at the age of 25 or they will not receive any additional payments from the health insurance, this will not be very successful.

Beware of manipulation!

Sometimes persuasion and manipulation are confused. Then an already full toddler is "persuaded" by spoon games and Schüttelreime to other spoons of porridge or brought to the teeth cleaning by the already mentioned horror ideas. Experiments of this kind override one's own will and feeling for oneself, which in principle is well developed in children and is actually necessary for survival.

Convince by own, playful experience

Children are empiricists. They learn best through imitation and their own experience and thereby also develop their beliefs. If you want your child to eat fruit and vegetables, and all parental talk of vitamins and importance falls on deaf ears, then maybe help a colorful fruit salad or a plate with carved vegetables. The little ones do not care about the vitamins, but the pleasure of eating is not the same. Change the toothpaste and make the sunscreen cream a fun game in which you decorate your child with tiger stripes or ladybug dots. Because ultimately, your child can not understand the meaning of many things because he still lacks the vision and the knowledge.

Patience is a virtue

Children sometimes have to wait and that's hard for you. This is also about convincing the child; However, it is often more helpful than ever to discuss a story to the child or to occupy it with something else interesting. Because especially smaller children lack the feeling for the time and the view into the future. A feeling for the past or the morning begins to develop the little ones until about two years, patience and need postponement is possible for children from kindergarten age.

Initially, waiting times can be bridged with explanations, giving the child a better sense of having to do various things before it gets its vial before it can go outside or into the bath. Also the opportunity to do things like putting on or tying shoes in peace and at your own pace.

Educating with persuasion is a noble goal, and parents who make the effort do great and educationally valuable work that benefits their child's development. However, that is simply not always possible. No one can always explain everything until the child is convinced, and in some cases, there must simply be rules, regardless of whether the child understands it or not. It is important to find here a middle ground between authority and understanding.

Did I forget something? Can you think of any more points?
I´m looking forward to your experiences and additions.

DAD-Chronicals : How to convince children