This is my participation for the Parent Contest Week 3 hosted by @steemitmamas!
What Would I Change About My Parenting
I have read all of the entries for this week and I can relate to each one of them. A lot of us parents struggle with some of the same things. It is really healthy for us to evaluate and critique our parenting so that we can work on improving those things and strive to be better.
There are two major things that I need to work on that stems from the same things. When our first daughter was born I was really excited! I got to dress her in the cutest clothes, put ribbons and bows in her hair and pick out the cutest shoes to match each outfit. I had the girliest time ever and my daughter and I were so close. She practically got anything she wanted and our entire family spoiled her because she was our only child.
At first we wanted a boy so he could protect his baby sister but it didn’t work out that way. We had three boys following our daughter and finally another girl came last. We are happy that our daughter came first because she is such a big help. My sons are somewhat lazy right now and hesitate to help or rarely volunteer to on their own. Although they are slowly getting better at it, my daughter (age 8) is the go to person for help when we need it. This usually consists of getting the baby a bottle, holding her while we run to get something from another room, grabbing something from up or downstairs, helping set the table, assisting in bath time for the little ones, helping her siblings brush their teeth, fixing bowls of oatmeal (she’s quite the gal and loves knowing how to do these things on her own). For those of you that have read about her art sales, you already know a little about her :)
The Problem
Since my daughter comprehends so well and is very understanding and responsible for her age, I tend to not give my sons (age 5 & 7) a chance to prove to me they too can be the same way. My husband suggests that I give them more responsibility and call on them for help more so that they can learn to be of good assistance. It’s just so easy and convenient calling on my daughter because:
1 . I don’t have to explain things in detail, she just gets it.
2 . She doesn’t murmur under her breath or complain that I am asking for help.
3 . She usually gets the job done right.
4 . She’s the only one I trust to handle the baby (8 months old) when I’m away for a second. She knows how to hold her right and walk with her properly.
I know that if I call on my sons I might here some lazy complaints...
I’m too tired, you always ask me, I don’t know how, what do you mean? 🙄
I also don’t feel like repeating myself over and over again to explain to them about what I need.
I know that in order for my sons to learn too, I have to let them practice and have more chances to prove their comprehension and capabilities.
The Other Issue
I don’t mean to do this but I do...I tend to play favoritism. I know some people say you need to focus on being parents to your children before being their friend but it matters to me how they feel about me. My kids love me because I’m their mother and take care of them. I also want them to like being around me and think I’m fun and funny and pleasant to be around. When they talk about me to their friends I want them to be proud and happy that I’m their mom.
With that said I tend to care more about what my daughter feels than I do any of my other children. Maybe it’s because we’ve had a special bond since the beginning or because it’s easier to relate to her because she’s a girl and because we like the same things like crafts and girly stuff. I tend to let her get her way just so she will be happy and not upset with me. Even when I know my sons are right about something and she’s not, I’ll go around it and try to make them and her happy. I know it’s not right and I shouldn’t. I also know this is setting her up for failure in the real world because we don’t always get our way.
The other part of it is I need to spend more time relating to my sons. Sure they like LEGO’s, trucks, video games and all that boy stuff but I need to learn how to be more attentive and listen to them when they are explaining things to me. They want me to watch them do their boy thing more and get as excited as I do when my daughter sews. I am determined to do this more. I have even been taking them on errands with me more so that we can spend time together without my daughter around.
Whewww it feels good to say this out loud! Admitting my foibles and seeing what I need to do to change them is huge. We all have things we can improve about ourselves and there’s no need to be ashamed about them because we are all works in progress :)
Thank You for Listening
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