Hello Everyone!

As many of you may know by reading my last Ulog, my husband was recently hired for a new job, and was to meet his new boss on Saturday to fill out paperwork and be shown around. Well, things didn't exactly go as planned.

First off, the place to meet was an hour away. Jared had no clue how to get there, and we have no data on our phones, so no Google Maps. Before he left I drew up the directions online to print them. Problem with that was - the printer wasn't working. With no other options available I wrote the directions down for him by hand.

Now, Jared has never been the best navigator. In the last 16 years of us being together, it was always me who knew the course, and if he was driving, I would be his co-pilot, telling him which way to turn. After he left, I was a little worried that he wouldn't get to his destination without any hiccups. Sure enough, there were hiccups.

He called me on the road 2 1/2 hours later an hour away from where he and his employer were supposed to meet. He got turned around and had just gotten directions that set him on the right course. He arrived there very late, as a 1 hour trip took 3 1/2 hours. This certainly doesn't make a very good first impression.

Walking up to this man's house and shop, Jared noticed that the man, Victor, and his wife were dressed much like Mennonites. The wife had a bee stuck in her bonnet, and Victor was trying to help her get it out. Jared said, "A bee in her bonnet! I've never been able to say that before!" This kind of broke the ice. Victor showed Jared on a map where he was turned around. The atmosphere was peaceful and positive, and he felt like he had stepped back in time. Victor and Jared sat down to start talking, and Jared was planning on only telling him that which pertained to the job.

They ended up talking for 3 hours. Victor and his wife weren't really Mennonites, they had been, but they ultimately found their own way for themselves after being jaded by the church. Since they were Christians, Jared couldn't help but tell his own testimony of when he was born again. He spilled out the whole story of everything we went through, including the bad. Our breakup, how he got into meth, his transformation and recovery, our remarriage, and his recent depression, how the house was going to be foreclosed, his current anger with God, and much more. Maybe it was because of a combination of this along with the fact that he was so late, Victor said he couldn't hire Jared at this time. Jared apologized for oversharing, and Victor said he was happy to hear his testimony. Victor also said, in a fatherly way, that he thinks about me and the kids, and that Jared should find something closer to home so he would be able to be with us more. Jared said he was scared to go home and tell his wife that he doesn't have the job.

That's right, he wasn't hired.

Victor said, "Jared, I really like you. We've gone through a lot of the same experiences when it comes to institutionalized church. I think you're smart, articulate...I can't hire you, but can I help you out? How much do you owe on your mortgage?"

Jared said he doesn't really have the pride to not accept help right now... $1400. Victor walks inside his house and returns with a checkbook. He wrote out the check and gave it to Jared, saying, "This is a gift." It was for $2500!!! Jared started welling up and said, "I've never been given a gift like this before from someone I don't even know." Victor said, "It's not from me, it's from Jesus. God loves you Jared."

When Jared got home, he told me what happened. He said he knew that Jesus put it on Victor's heart to write this check, but it still doesn't make him want to seek God at this time. He was still angry with God about his depression.

Well the check wasn't for Jared, it was for me.

I've been feeling an incredible amount of guilt lately. I haven't been taking care of my kids right. I let them fend for themselves while I spent hours a day on Steemit. A couple of them are losing weight. I wasn't taking them out to play. I wasn't on top of their hygiene. When one jumped up on my lap I would get irritated and told her to get down. I wasn't building any kind of relationship with them. Sure I loved them, but I was incredibly self-absorbed as well as depressed myself. I didn't know how to change. Even though the amount of guilt I had made me cry, guilt doesn't get anything done. Guilt didn't change me. I always thought I was a Christian before, but now I know that I wasn't.

I was thinking to myself So really, Jesus gave us this check. Jesus gave us a check for $2500. I thought about Him and what he does. He forgives. I started crying all by myself in the kitchen and thought the question, "So you can forgive me right now for all of this? You can forgive me?" Suddenly I felt all the guilt and shame disperse from me, and it was replaced with this incredible sensation, first it rose in my chest, and expanded through. Immediately, the eyes through which I saw my children were transformed, and I saw them accompanied by an incredible amount of love. This was real. This was life changing. I'm different now, and will never be the same.

I was born again!!!

Since this has happened the phenomenon has not gone away, and already there are positive changes in the children's demeanors. I was gifted the holy spirit, and Jesus has been guiding me along the way. Instead of being selfish, I've been kind to them, spending time with them. I actually want to read the Bible for the first time ever just to learn more. My husband has responded in a positive way to this as well, and I know I'm here in part to help guide him back to God.

This may cost me some followers, but I really don't know how much I will be on Steemit in the future anyway. I love you all, but I have a husband and 5 kids, and they come before Steemit now.

Chloe's birthday!!

In other news, My daughter celebrated her 7 year birthday yesterday!! We had so much fun and here are some pictures!

Since this has happened to me, I know there are many more amazing days to come! Thanks for reading!

Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy spirit. Eph. 1:13

In that day you will know that I am in my Father, and you in me, and I in you. John 14:20

Love, snowpea ❤