I don't know about you,
but it was very hard for me
to say no,
To say no
even when I didn't want it,
to say no
even when I was struggling
and ended up overextending myself -
It left me silently smouldering inside,
all the requests I thought I had no choice
but to say yes though
I felt burnt out
like a heap of ashes,
left in the open
long after the fire has died.
I felt like a doormat,
rudely stepped all over,
taken for granted, and then
discarded after outliving my usefulness.
It didn't help that I was an empath,
aka an emotional dumping ground.
But now I have learnt to say no.
I have learnt that people,
including those that love me very much,
will not know my limits
unless I articulate them clearly.
I cannot expect them to read my mind,
to know that I'm feeling overstretched at any given
point of time -
that would be unfair
to them,
to myself,
to everyone involved.
And for those who were truly out to
make use of me
and just take and take and take,
I do not hesitate to draw clear boundaries
that my time, energy, efforts and money will only
go towards people who truly need help.
This was a huge revelation for me,
that saying no doesn't mean being selfish,
it just means taking care of myself well enough
that I have enough,
and have more than enough to give to those who genuinely lack.
Now I just need to grow in wisdom
to know who truly needs and will benefit from the help rendered.
And for those who are in the same boat
as me last time,
don't hesitate to say no
to parasites that will squander
your finite resources.
& give to those in real need.
[Photo Credits: Rustad and Tootell via Unsplash)
Today's freewrite is not fiction, but a stream of consciousness in blank verse, inspired by @happycrazycon (check out her thoughts here: @happycrazycon/freewrite-prompt-freedom-of-personal-power-f48b4ffd10d56).
If you have experienced something similar, please leave your comments below!
Resteems and upvotes are always appreciated. (: