The Road Home: Finish the Story Contest #44

This is an entry into #finishthestory contest, run by @bananafish. Finish the Story is a collaborative story-writing exercise that takes place just about every week. This week the first part, The Story of Mr. Renhe Ren, was written by @marcoriccardi. The second half, The Road Home, represents my effort to pick up the story where @marcoriccardi left off. He gave us a little gem, the sort of tale that might be passed from the elders of a village to the young. @marcoriccardi invites each of us to find a bit of wisdom within ourselves and "finish the story." This one had such a clear message that it was easy for me to keep in the 500 word limit. Here goes, the blended effort of @marcoriccardi and @agmoore.

The Story of Mr. Renhe Ren

by @marcoriccardi

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It is said that Mr. Renhe Ren, of Daochu village, in the province of Quan Shijie, in his forty-second year of life, was seized by a great rage because of his long-standing enemy, who was constantly working to hinder and ruin any of his activities and projects. Faced with the umpteenth abuse, Mr. Renhe Ren felt that his harmony and self-control were going to be lost. He was no longer able to feel the noble sentiments worthy of a superior man.

Then he remembered the words of the wise man. "Sit down along the river bank and wait, sooner or later you will see the corpse of your enemy pass". So, he left the village of Daochu and went down to the river. He found a willow with a wide foliage that bent gently over the water, and sat down in his shadow, determined to wait until the wisdom of the ancestors had brought a solution to his problem.

He awaited for days and nights, meditating. Sun, rain, wind and fog alternated tormenting him, but neither the heat, nor the cold, nor the humidity, nor the insects distracted him from his waiting. Time passed, until one day in late autumn, the stream swollen for the rains brought a corpse to its feet, face down. Mr. Renhe Ren shook himself from his meditation and leaned towards the muddy water, his heart finally calm.

Great was his surprise when he saw…




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My Ending:

The Road Home

by @agmoore

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Renhe Ren realized that the body in the river was unmistakably that of his enemy, Liu Yuan. The telltale power character2.jpg tattoo was visible on the nape of his neck. And there was the trademark cauliflower ear, legacy of Liu's ferocious street battles. That ear was now host to a community of mitten crabs. These feasted hungrily on the dead man's flesh.

The prophesy was fulfilled, Renhe's prayer's answered, and the enemy delivered. Leadership of the local crime syndicate was now firmly determined: Renhe would rule. In his moment of triumph, he knelt down so he could turn the cadaver and look upon the face of his defeated enemy. Liu's sightless eyes reflected malice, an expression that had no doubt been captured at the instant of death. A snarl frozen on his lips had likely been intended for whomever it was that struck the fatal blow.

The stench of death rose from Liu's corpse, and with it a gripping, heart-chilling terror. Renhe realized that, just as a sneer froze on Liu's lips, so too did hatred in his heart. It was a hatred they had shared, and it would forever be inscribed in the Book of Life--along with all the vile deeds they had committed together.

Renhe wept. He understood that the possibility of reconciliation, of righting wrongs with Liu, was gone. All those prayers he had said in order to bring Liu to him, now yielded a different harvest--a moment of enlightenment. He, Renhe, would one day enter the realm of the dead and worms would feed upon his body as they now fed on Liu. And when that happened, the Book Book of Life would be closed forever and his eternal destiny fixed.

Was there time yet to write a new chapter, to seek redemption? Renhe resolved to forgive Liu every wrong and to ask for his forgiveness. He would adopt Liu's children, and see to their education. He would shelter Liu's widow into her old age. And he would build a shrine to honor Liu's memory. Each year he would visit the shrine and offer tribute.

Renhe bent down and attempted to lift Liu's body. It had absorbed water and was covered with debris, but he managed to balance the corpse on his shoulders. Then began the long trek home. Pain throbbed in his limbs from the strain of carrying his enemy's cadaver. With every labored step it seemed the body grew heavier, and yet the heavier it grew the lighter seemed the burden on Renhe's soul.

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