I am one of thousands of people affected by @quinneaker's visionary community the @gardenofeden. As we clean and organize in preparation for a big move towards Eden 2.0, it's time to let go of my own incredible history here:
Part 13 šš½
I couldn't put it into words when I got here, but I came to the @gardenofeden to remodel relationships (as part of my mission, anyway).
This is a constant practice when living in a sustainable community with humans of varying caliber.
I spent the first year here blaming my ex for a very shitty relationship, ultimately learning that I am the only factor I can control in any situation. If I wanted love and honor, it was up to me to live them.
But I had let dysfunctions, judgment, trauma, fear, doubt, guilt, unworthiness, and shame take control of my life, like a virus hijacking a system, and I played them out in ugly and abusive situations.
@quinneaker took almost a whole year to patiently point out to me again and again that I had the choice AND the power to live any life I wanted. And if there was an awesome option like the love and liberty we enjoy at the @gardenofeden available, then why would I settle for anything less? Better is one thing, but anything less is total insanity. And abuse is definitely way less!
With newfound awareness, I chose my red pill - to heal, wipe the drives and rewrite my code.
Thank all the gods that the open source code on hand at the @gardenofeden was one of radical love, support, generosity, freedom, and compassion. I witnessed truly exemplary beings who lived higher standards and greater values than I did, and I challenged myself to integrate their upgrades into my new systems.
With tons of work before me, I chose to start with forgiveness to thoroughly release all energetic ties to my ex. And no sooner had I set my mind to the task than the perfect challenge presented itself for practice:
My ex found another lady, just as I had secretly wished he would so he would leave me alone. And then she lived with us too. And then she was pregnant, and then they were married.
I might have handled that terribly had I not already committed to conducting myself with more respect and decency than I ever had. Plus, I learned from and tried my best to embody @everlove's glorious example of grace and acceptance.
Years before I arrived at the @gardenofeden, she invited the mother of @quinneaker's children to share their home, supporting this new woman to create a family with the man she loves the most in a life they would all build together of their own design.
The details are quite wonderful, but they're not mine to tell - you'll have to read @everlove's series Challenging Love to Be Unconditional if she wants to share that, but duuuuude...what a move!
By the time I got there, Quinn, @everlove, @truelovelives, and the beautiful daughters @qiqi-power and @noki-power all lived together under one roof in the @gardenofeden, relatively drama free compared to the hell I had created in my own relationships. They actually love each other!
Super mega giga ultra love blessing - BFFs @noki-power & @everlove
So if these people could live in peace and happiness with their very unconventional situation, then why couldn't I?
Single as a Kraft cheese slice, residing just a few hundred feet from my ex and his new lady, and with a remarkable example of true love living to learn from, I wanted to break down every barrier, resistance, restraint, limitation, block, wall, and condition programmed into my dysfunctional failure of a relationship model.
Starting with the gauntlet - how to love your lover's lover?
Do you want to know why I live at the @gardenofeden?
Join me in the next post, and we can explore real love together.
Part 14
āØšāØ Sara!