I am one of thousands of people affected by @quinneaker's visionary community the @gardenofeden. As we clean and organize in preparation for a big move towards Eden 2.0, it's time to let go of my own incredible history here:
Part 14 šš½
I escaped an unhealthy and severely dysfunctional relationship by taking blame off my ex for everything that was wrong and accepting responsibility for participating in it.
This paradigm shift is one of the most valuable gifts I have to share - it only took 33 years of this lifetime, a few punches to the face, and the guidance of an enlightened being to get it.
When I felt anger or darkness towards my ex, I practiced sending gratitude instead. It was easier to forgive him for falling short of my projections when I appreciated the opportunity to level up spiritually and gave thanks for the challenge.
No one else on Earth walked through that fire with me in that way, and it delivered me to an important stage of my soul's growth. He had not been exactly what I wanted in a mate, but he had been exactly what I needed for conscious evolution.
I analyzed our experience and questioned my entire existence, scrutinizing every intimate relationship I'd ever had. I began to recognize patterns, habits, and beliefs played out in all of them, and how frequently my own negativity attracted negative results.
I obviously operated from rotten beliefs about myself, men, intimacy, love, family, trust, and more.
Deep down in the core parts of myself that I never said out loud, I expected men to hurt and fail me, that I was unworthy of real love, peace, and support - no surprise these expectations manifested again and again in ugly "romantic" relationships.
I can and maybe will write novels about healing the deep wounds between men and women, as it is such a significant portion of my story. It is extremely potent and valuable and I believe can advance individuals thus families thus society immensely. It is an even greater gift I have to share than the first.
But my journey on that path continues to unfold. @quinneaker inspires me to go deeper and deeper into what seems like an infinite abyss...I'll share the successes when I find the words. The healing is stupendous, but time doesn't feel linear on this subject and the English is not yet clear.
Just as important is healing relationships between women, and the inspiration I found at the @gardenofeden is one of the greatest gifts of all!
What if we lift each other up instead of tearing each other down?
And as my ex had a new lady living with him in our sustainable community and a pure, innocent baby on the way, I needed all the inspiration I could get for alchemizing my emotions towards the greatest good.
Thankfully I stepped into an unconventional world of radical love here, something I had longed for but didn't know could be real. There are plenty of men and women who come and go, but Quinn, @everlove, and @truelovelives are the core.
Their relationships are so compelling that they made CBS news, who came to do a piece on the @gardenofeden and couldn't get over this social structure they had never seen before and didn't know how to define.
What is our understanding of love, anyway? My relationship history clearly evidenced that my understanding was horribly perverse...Is competition, conflict, and jealousy true love? Is it really love with controls, conditions, limits, and restrictions? What are all these social constructs and rules within ourselves that hold us back from full, real, raw, vulnerable expressions and real love?
How will we heal our broken and wounded hearts?
What if we started from square one - with women and children?
Do you want to know why I live at the @gardenofeden?
Join me in the next post for a story of real love.
Part 15
āØšāØ Sara!