A life full of drama - the suffering of a two-year-old

Two year olds lead a life without nuances - they love, they hate, they need - and sooooo much and immediately. It is always the very big emotions that move them. Our columnist Mate Tabula describes everyday life as the father of a two-year drama queen.

My two-year-old daughter is a communication extremist. When she speaks, she knows no hesitant nuances or middle tunes, no, from her mouth come only highs and lows. That's probably why she loves the song Heidi "soooo very much". The world of the little maiden is known to be the mountains, but the world of my daughter is the sad valleys in front of the refrigerated shelves when I defy her the much desired pudding.

Because pudding loves her "soooo very much" that she spoils her facial expressions like a lewd schlager singer, if I refuse her. The facial expression is particularly herzentzweiend when even a long drawn "pleeeeeeeaaaaaseeeeee" does not change my decision.

As an outsider in the supermarket, one can not help but stare dumbfounded at the father: "Damn, they monster, now they finally give the little one the 10-liter bucket of chocolate pudding, do not they realize how much she suffers?"

Not without my sandals

Oh, and how I feel that. For example, whenever I try to put on her other shoes instead of the new pink sandals. The pink sandals she loves because "soooo very" that you currently no other shoes to the feet.

"But little one, it's been raining hard out there, the streets are full of puddles and your sandals are getting wet. Come on, let's put on the sturdy shoes. "
But she only answers: "I do not like tight shoes". She pricks her lips so that I immediately have to think about Mick Jagger and the Stones hit You can't always get what you want.

While I'm tying her tight boots, because as a father, I'm responsible for the fact that a two-year-old with reasonable footwear leaves the house to match the climatic conditions, she punishes me with a thunder-storm of thorium-like proportions. My little girl is behaving "sooo weird", she fires sharp teardrops out of her eyes and yells at me that I think I've missed the world going down.

Sooo sad, sooo cute

Good. Probably the world is just sinking for them. And that also lets everyone know who is in sight. For example, the Spanish parenting teacher of her big sister, if we deliver them in kindergarten.

"Dad's been putting on wrong shoes," she scolds, holding out a shoe. "There, look. No sandalis. Sooo sad. "But Sergio does not find that sad at all, but" sooo dulce ".

But a whole day with this diva is anything but sweet. From one moment to the next she wants gummi bears so badly that sometimes I'm tempted to call the fire department for them to bring her. Tatü tata, the gummy bears are here. For my Mariah Carey, I'm not embarrassed by an emergency call.

hankie, hankie .. handkerchief

At the playground, she worries that the other children will take away her sand molds, or that the other children's parents will take her away from me, that she is clinging to one of my legs like a monkey: "Soooo scared, dad, in front of people."

"No fear. Dad is here, "I say at such moments, which is completely unnecessary. Because shortly thereafter she has "sooo thirsty" or "sooo hungry" that the previous seemingly unbearable fear of people seems to be swallowed up by the earth.

Between these melodramatic scenes, she repeatedly asks for a cloth. So every ten seconds, actually. hankie ... hankieeee... Haaaaaankieeeeeee. For her nose. Say handkerchief. Pleaseeeeee, daddy, fast hankie, sooo important. I do not like to wait.

And what I need to do? I give her a HANKIE, take a deep breath and imagine how she will behave as an adult. The boss is showing her some project and she tells him that she does not like it because it is "sooo pointless".
To her best friend she says that she finds the new frozen pudding shop on the corner "sooo awesome" that she wants to go straight there. Are you coming with me?

If she does not get anything, she first tries a lengthy "Pleeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaseeeeeee" and then fires sharp teardrops out of her eyes until, as an outsider, you can not help but scream:
"Now they finally give this woman a handkerchief. Do not you see how she suffers? "And then the fire brigade comes with gummi bears to lure them away from the fridge.

DAD-Chronicals : A life full of drama - the suffering of a two-year-old

A life full of drama - the suffering of a two-year-old

Not without my sandals

Sooo sad, sooo cute

hankie, hankie .. handkerchief

Other Stories round about the DAD-Chronicals