I can't remember what I was feeling or what I was going through at that exact moment when I wrote this poem in August 2006. All I know is that I was too far away from God and I did not want to go to church at all. I was in a very bad place, so to speak.
I found myself confiding in my friends about things that troubled me. But even though I chose to become more and more distant to God, I would still find comfort from my best friend I met at church, and I would still acknowledge that I needed prayers and healing.
My best friend read this poem and wrote to me:
“Be reminded of your identity as a beautiful creation of God. He loves you, so do I!”
This friend of mine is older than me by 10 years. She is like the big sister I never had. She has always been my pillar of support. She always encourages me and has never given up on praying for me. I'm glad that I've always had her by my side through those years, even when we didn't see each other often, because I knew that I could always count on her.
On the other hand, my sister, @dynamicshine, and I were not that close back then. We could not relate to each other. I could not open up to her about anything. Yes, we are sisters, but it was like we did not know each other very well.
There were reasons why we didn't have a good relationship when we were a lot younger. I admit I was not a nice "Ate" (big sister) to her. I was too controlling, thinking that I was doing the right thing by oppressing her freedom to make her own choices in life. It just made us fall further apart from each other and started to feel the resentment we had for each other.
Anyway, I really do not want to dwell on the past because now I'm glad that things have changed between us ever since she gave birth to her son, her second child. I have been praying and longing for this my whole life - that she and I would have a stronger bond.
When her son was born, I was already living in Australia, so I've never had a chance to hold her baby in my arms. I would love to care for him, too, just like I did with her firstborn child, who is now in her teens (oh, how time flies!). Then her second baby girl will be turning 1 in September, and again, I don't think I will be able to hold her whilst she's still a baby as I can't see myself flying to America anytime soon because of the demands of my work and studies.
However, even now, I am already feeling excited more than ever to see her and be with her and her family because now I know, I will definitely have a great time with her, my only sister. We will talk for hours on end. I will take her out to lunch and dinner dates - I think that's one of the things we have in common. I will show her how to cook our favourite Filipino food (pandesal, tocino, tapsilog, etc.). We will do lots of activities together. In other words, we will bond like never before.
When we were younger and we didn't have this special bond that we have now, I had always wanted to tell her that I loved her and that I would do everything for her, like any big sister would do for her younger siblings. But I was too scared to open up because we didn't have that connection. Now, I can freely tell her how I feel without any fear because I know that she knows and feels what's inside my heart - just unconditional love for her and her kids and nothing else.
So, I've been told by my sister @dynamicshine, I'm definitely a certified #ulogger now for my @ulogs posts (thanks to @surpassinggoogle for this new concept of blogging on #steemit).
Ulog No. 1: Lamb Yiros/Gyros for Lunch
Ulog No. 2: Acknowleding the Positive and Negative in Life
Ulog No. 3: Mastery of Skill in Baking Pan De Sal Requires More Practice
Ulog No. 4: Oh No! What Happened to my JPEG Photos/Files?!
Ulog No. 5: My 'Witnesses Vote' Journey
I voted for @steemgigs, @pharesim, @quochuy, @reggaemuffin, @qurator, @arcange, @yabapmatt and @ausbitbank as witnesses!
You can vote up to 30 witnesses by clicking this link:
https://steemit.com/~witnesses
All photos are mine, except for the Discord banners (credits to @baa.steemit, @steembulls, and @terminallyill for DynamicSteemians, Steembulls, and GreetersGuild).
Thank you @stevenmosoes and @seyiodus for @flaminghelpers and @itestify banners.
