WHAT IS LOVE?
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9Part 10 Birthday Intermission Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20Intermission No. 2 Part 21 Part 22 Part 23 Part 24 Part 25 Part 26 Part 27 Part 28 Part 29 Part 30 Intermission No. 3 Part 31 Part 32 Part 33 Part 34 Part 35 Part 36 Part 37 Part 38 Part 39 Part 40 Intermission No. 4 Part 41 Part 42 Part 43 Part 44 Part 45 Part 46 Part 47 Part 48 Part 49 Part 50 Intermission No. 4 Part 51 Part 52 Part 53 Part 54Part 55 Part 56 Part 57 Part 58 Part 59 Part 60 Intermission No. 5 Part 61 Part 62 Part 63 Part 64 Part 65 Part 66 Part 67 Part 68 Part 69 Part 70 Part 71
All of these years Quinn had been showing me what love really is, and I had taken in all that I could from my limited perspective. Even as juicy and delicious as it was, I could tell there was a lot lacking that I was unable to access, or I would likely not be feeling this particular kind of pain. Now was the time to really delve head first into seeing through my ideas and fears to connect deeper with the true essence of love.
So I asked myself….Is love...
what I’ve pre-determined it should be, or is there more?
getting someone else to be and do what I want so I can feel better about myself?
blaming someone else for loving too much?
trying to contain someone else’s love, and keeping it in the box of my own choosing?
wanting for someone else what I want for them, instead of what they want for themselves?
finite or infinite?
No! No! No! No! No! And Infinite--at least I was hoping it was!
I asked myself...
Is jealousy love?
Is fear love?
Is control love?
Is limitation love?
Is blame love?
Are my ideas love?
No! No! No! No! No! and No!
This was just the beginning of my questioning. If I truly loved Quinn I needed to look at how I was loving him. Was I loving him according to what I had been taught love was all my life, or was I going to be open to exploring the greater depths of unconditional love for an experience way beyond anything I had ever imagined? Something good had to come from all this pain, and all of this love could not be for only the temporary experience of it---or could it?
I felt I couldn’t run from this as it was something that was obviously the foundation of my existence and would likely continue to permeate the rest of my entire life. No more intense opportunity had I ever had to dig down deep. No greater opportunity had I ever had for true love to hold my heart, and help me discover the depths of the eternal, unconditional vibration of the creator of all.
For years I had loved as much as I could love while questioning myself on so many other levels of existence. Still I had been living a limited scope of love because of conditioning. I didn’t really know there was more, except for the example that Quinn set. His living the life of infinite love completely rattled my sense of security. I realized the love I had been living only afforded me a false sense of security, not something even real! And, of course on top of that, the example he had set was threatening to me, as fear of seeing or embracing something that unknown and potentially profound made me extremely uncomfortable and frankly intimidated me.
I had a choice to make--continue to blame and live a life of finite love.
Or…Take responsibility for my existence and open to infinite possibility.
Thank you for reading my blog and for going
on this journey with me toward Unconditional Love!
Stay Tuned for Part 73
Enter the @gardenofeden website too to see how we're doing our part to change the world.
