READYING FOR THE REUNION!
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9Part 10 Birthday Intermission Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20Intermission No. 2 Part 21 Part 22 Part 23 Part 24 Part 25 Part 26 Part 27 Part 28 Part 29 Part 30 Intermission No. 3 Part 31 Part 32 Part 33 Part 34 Part 35 Part 36 Part 37 Part 38 Part 39 Part 40 Intermission No. 4 Part 41 Part 42 Part 43 Part 44 Part 45 Part 46 Part 47 Part 48 Part 49 Part 50 Intermission No. 4 Part 51 Part 52 Part 53 Part 54Part 55 Part 56 Part 57 Part 58 Part 59 Part 60 Intermission No. 5 Part 61 Part 62 Part 63 Part 64 Part 65 Part 66 Part 67 Part 68 Part 69 Part 70 Part 71 Part 72 Part 73 Part 74 Part 75 Part 76
In the last few days we had together at the Garden of Eden, he was fine tuning his reunion plans with his incubating baby mama.
We made a visit to his parent’s house for one last time together. We sat at the table while he told his mom of his plans to go to Arizona to be with the mother of his unborn child. She was stunned that he was going to have a child, astounded that we were together sharing this information with her, and ecstatic that she would finally be getting her first grandchild, which she had anxiously hoped for for many years. She always knew I was not to give him a child, and that he had been adamant about not wanting any.
Curious about what had changed for Quinn, they went into her bedroom together and had a little chat about things which I was not privy to, but later some parts of their conversation were revealed.
There was something about that day that changed his mother’s and my relationship. It was almost as if she was relieved that Quinn’s and my relationship was coming to a close. I didn’t know if she was grateful that I would be more available to spend time with her, or if she actually had always wanted something else for her son and hoped I’d be completely out of the picture. I couldn’t quite get a grip on it, but later conversations and unfoldings would reveal a few juicy bits of the energetics.
I sat with him while he packed many of his few belongings, leaving behind his handmade pottery, a few books, crystals, and even some of his clothes in the closet. I figured perhaps one day he would call for them or that I’d send them in a box in the mail. He was notably excited about surprising her and about their new beginning, while still sensitive to the finality of ending life with me.
I tried to be happy for him, but I honestly wasn’t, because I was so very sad for myself! I told my children what was happening and they were super sad for me too. I felt they were also potentially glad that I had some finality and was closer to closure, as they had seen me struggle for months during his travels away.
I engaged with him those last few days instead of pulling away as my heart yelled at me to do. I so wanted to protect myself from the pain and begin the separation process so it wouldn’t be such a huge hard, dark lump to swallow all at once. But the sweetness of our love still lingered and I felt more drawn to him than ever knowing the limited-ness of our coming reality.
Holding my heart in his hand.
Our lives were irrevocably changed, and I had no choice but to stand in it no matter how much it hurt. The pain was almost unbearable, made only possible to stand in because he was still here. The even more difficult part was likely to come when I had no one to lean on but myself.
Thank you for reading my blog and for going
on this journey with me toward Unconditional Love!
Stay Tuned for Part 78
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